Saturday, February 13, 2010

Dating and Cancer

In my return to normal life, following the program interruption that was cancer, I find myself following blogs that aren’t just about cancer. I know. Imagine. And I find myself laughing at these blogs (no, it’s okay, they’re meant to be funny) as well as at stories I’ve been hearing from some friends lately. For a brief moment, I was even jealous. Wow, they have all this interesting stuff to blog about. Great, great material these ladies have. Then I realized the common denominator…these are all women over the age of, um, let’s go with 30, getting out into the dating world. Rich, rich material for humor if only one didn’t have to live through the stories before they could tell them. That’s when I realized a very profound thing, which of course I will share with you (and then all of you single women can collectively scream “DUH!!!” at me).
Dating is a lot like cancer.
Well, it’s like cancer treatment.
1) No matter how hard you try, you’re not quite yourself at the beginning.
2) You have to give yourself lots of pep talks.
3) The whole process can make you feel really unattractive.
4) It sometimes seems it’s all anybody talks to you about.
5) Other people usually pick up the tab for dinner.
6) Drinks can have bad side effects.
7) You become hyper-aware of your weight.
8) Everybody seems to be doing it better.
9) Everybody has advice (and only some of it is any good).
10) You make yourself go through it (the dating ritual/ chemo) because it’s supposed to be better in the end. The end is truly supposed to justify the means.
11) And, bonus, you get some really wild stories that entertain your friends.

I remember when I was in the doctor’s exam room waiting for chemo. There was a flyer on the billboard for a support group for young breast cancer patients and it included topics like “dating and cancer.” And I thought…really? Who would worry about dating during chemo? That would seem to be the last thing on one’s mind. But I suppose if you are out there dating when you get diagnosed, well, that’s one more thing to deal with. That’s one side effect I definitely avoided.

So ladies of a certain age out there dating, I guess here’s the support I can offer… at least it’s not cancer. Right?

PS. Some blogs to check out if you are a) out their dating and need to laugh and b) are not easily offended. No, seriously, do not click if you are easily offended.

47 and Starting Over
I Shoulda Been a Stripper
Me Jane

My dating "real" friends haven't started blogs yet. Despite all of my encouragement. Maybe they don't see the humor yet. Hmmmmm


  1. How funny, Teresa! I've never heard cancer (treatment) compared to dating but gosh, when you spell it out like that.

    Thanks for the shout out! Am I really that offensive? What was it, the stripper chick wisdom or the strap on?

  2. Chrissy--you are not offensive at all. I just know from personal experience, there are some "sensitive" folks out there! I think your blog is hilarious--that's why I linked to it! Plus, there's Bernie. ;-)

  3. I saw a comment you had made on Chrissy's blog, wandered over and now I am a follower. You are interesting, a good writer, and feisty. A great combination. I added you to my blogs. All the best.

  4. I love the picture up top ... you and the dog!


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