He's Famous and He Knows it

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Book Trailer Number 2, for the more serious, tender-hearted side of things (note Seamus's good behavior throughout this entire video. If that's not Oscar worthy, I don't know what is!).

Much More Famous

Thanks for all your kind comments on the book cover. I absolutely love it! And Seamus of course thinks it's the best book cover ever. But just when we thought he couldn't get any more famous, this happened:

These are cake pops made to look like Seamus on the book cover. (Pup pops? Seamus suckers?) 75 of these adorable pops are being over-nighted to my editor at Sourcebooks Publishing to hand out at their sales conference on Thursday. And I didn't forget the Seamus's in their lives either. There will also be "doggy bags" handed out with homemade (um, not by me...I custom ordered them) peanut butter/ banana dog bones. They look like this:

The bone is green in "real life" the photo coloring is just off

So yeah, we're sending bribes treats in hopes that the sales people notice the book, remember the book. love the book and....go out and sell the book!  I also had two book trailer videos made that will be shown at the conference. And after that happens, you know I'll be sharing them here!

Phew! This publishing biz is hard work!
(And speaking of that...if you haven't clicked "like" yet for our Facebook page, please do...it's right over there in the sidebar just begging to be clicked.)

Next up, I've still got to finish the acknowledgements section for the book. Who do you suggest I acknowledge and thank? (I think we all know who the book will be dedicated to...and no, I don't mean Seamus!)

Seamus is More Famous

I've been meaning to post pictures and tell tales of our Fiji adventure--because believe me there is so much to tell. It's a magical, wonderful, gorgeous place. But I also have 700+ photos, and my step-mom Nancy just sent me her 700+ photos, so there's a lot of culling to do. Plus, we returned home to one funeral and no sooner had we come home from that then we learned that Chris's aunt had passed away from metastasized breast cancer. We arrived at her home about an hour before the mortuary did. Her funeral was Friday.  Needless to say, things have been sad and busy and well...keeping me from the blog. Fiji stories and photos will be coming....um...well...maybe soon.

In the meantime, Seamus is feeling a little jealous of Bob over at Daisy and Bob's blog  because Bob, the pit bull, is having quite a week. So Seamus would like me to let you all know about the award he received this week. He got a plaque with his portrait and signatures from the staff over at Ruff House Pet Resort at the celebration of their 5 year anniversary. See, Seamus was their very first customer and after 5 years, is still their best customer. (He got a plaque; we got a free weekend of boarding for him in one of their new island-themed suites along with a bath....wait...I guess that's sort of for him too! But we get to get away...don't let him know that.) The photo is of Seamus (who hates being picked up; hates it!) and me getting the award from owner Marti. Thanks Ruff House.

Chris's Aunt Susan was an avid animal lover herself. She passed away after a six-month battle with breast cancer (metastasized to her brain and elsewhere by the time it was caught). She loved Seamus (who doesn't?) and all animals and she will be greatly missed. RIP Susan.

Sleeping Sitting Up

Seamus's surgery was moved up to today--doctor's schedule, Chris's schedule, my schedule, Seamus's schedule all pointed to today as the best option.

The good news is that none of the bumps or lumps were cancerous. The bad news is he has stitches and "super glue" in various incision spots and apparently this is making it uncomfortable for him to lay down.  I picked him up at 4:30, brought him home, fed him and then got him settled in bed (my bed, of course). Since then (a few hours now) he's been trying to sleep sitting up. Then he falls asleep, falls or moves down and boom! he's awake and sitting back up.  I've been positioning pillows around him to get him some support so he can sleep and stay asleep. The photo is the particular set up that seems to work. He was asleep before I got off the bed to get the camera and is back asleep as I type this. I'm sure the pain medications helped. (I'm contemplating my own pain "medication" in a glass shortly...).

He's supposed to be wearing a cone (Elizabethan collar, if you prefer) because he has stitches on a back leg, but so far, he's not at all interested in the stitches. So I'm just going to let him rest, cone-less. It's been hard enough for him to find a position to sleep in, without having a plastic conehead hindering him.  It's funny, he's right where he slept when I was going through chemo and sleeping a lot, and he was keeping me company. So I think I'll just  keep him company now, too. That's how we roll in our cancer (free!!) house.

Bumps, Beagles and More Books

You probably think I've been sleeping all this time, since the blog has been quiet. But no. That is not the case. And in fact, the blog will be heating up again soon.

I've been writing (you knew that). And traveling --I spent five days in San Francisco having fun and attending a conference. And  planning more travel--it's time for the Forgotten Grapes Paso Robles tour in March, and then there's Fiji in April, and plans for a Words & Wine France wine tasting tour in July and a Spain Words & Wine writing retreat/ wine tasting tour in August. Phew (oh, and click on the links if you're interested in joining us...except in Fiji; sorry, that one is a family trip! oh, and the France and Spain 2011 trips itinerarys aren't up yet but you can see the 2010 info; hey, I told you we're in the planning stages!).

And, I've been dealing with more doctors appointments. This time, it's for Seamus. Chris and I noticed a couple of new bumps. The kind of bumps that would pass for "old age moles" on any other dog. But as we all know, Seamus is not any other dog. So we took him to see Dr. Davis. Dr. Davis does not think it's anything serious and was quick to tell us that even if these are the mast cell tumors again, these were the kind that could be surgically removed and that's it. It's not a repeat of the ordeal we went through way back when (we've all blocked out that time). I have to admit...I was a little freaked out. It doesn't necessarily make sense (what does when you're dealing with cancer? Or potential cancer), but I have my health emotionally connected to Seamus. In my mind, the dog lived, I lived. The dog does not have a recurrence, I don't have a recurrence. So um, if the dog had a recurrence? Double devastation.

When Seamus goes for his surgery to have these bumps removed, they will also remove the little fatty bumps that have been there since shortly after he finished treatment (when they appeared and scared the beejeezus out of me), and clean his teeth. I have not wanted him to undergo anesthesia again for a long, long time. But now that he has too, well, we're getting it all done. So poor Seamus will have a stitch here and there in a few spots, and will have to be a cone head for awhile (he hates that!).  Chris and I had to figure out a date for the surgery where we knew one or both of us would be home with him all day (no doggie daycare or babysitter for this!). March 9th it is.  I'll keep you posted.

And stay tuned...as I said, the blog is revving up again. I will have two author interviews coming up very soon. I'm excited about both of them! Sara Henry who has her debut novel Learning to Swim coming to stores near you very soon. And Susan Conley, a fellow breast cancer survivor who was diagnosed shortly after moving to Bejing with her husband and two young sons and has written a memoir chronicling her story. I've got both books on pre-order. And here's some previews for you:

The book trailer (love that) for Susan's book:

Quinn Cummings reviewing Sara's book:

and here's where you can read the first chapter of Sara's book, Learning to Swim.

Read up. We'll talk.

A New Year

Right, so it's a new year.  I'm probably supposed to have something profound to say...
Nope.
Nothing.  It's sort of like the epiphany I should have had post cancer. I'll work on it.

In the meantime, several of you asked why Seamus didn't have a glass of wine in our Christmas photo (see this post). The answer to that is...because he's a dog. Look, just because he forgets that doesn't mean you can forget that. But don't think he didn't try:

No, his tongue is not doctored in this photo. And yes, we did contemplate sending this as a Christmas card. For once, we actually exercised some judgment.

Happy New Year!

Butterflies and Book Deals

Seamus is on his way to being famous...(and also practicing his "I want to be alone" pose).

The title is a bit of a cheat. Twice, actually. I don't have a book deal yet--but as I mentioned I have "officially" signed with a super fantastic literary agent who will be representing my memoir and taking it out to publishers. And I promised details, which I will now share. (Programming note: if you are one of the blog readers who is a writer yourself, you are already familiar with this process and you may just want to skip down to the end...and then leave your comments telling me where I got it all wrong.) When I've told some of my family and friends my news I've been met with cheers and...confusion, especially when they ask when they can buy the book and I have to explain, well, uh, it will have to find a publisher first.  Understandable confusion since most non-writer folks don't really know about literary agents and just think "book deal."

Here's the deal--to get a book published with a publishing house of repute (whether little, medium or big), these days one must have a literary agent. You cannot simple call up Random House and tell them you've got the next bestseller--you're the next Jonathan Franzen Clancy Irving King Rowling.  Nor can you mail them your novel and then sit waiting for the money to pour in. (Please watch this funny clip and know it's all true). No, you need a literary agent. The literary agent can get to editors at the publishing houses and get them to consider buying your book. No agent, no book deal, pretty much. So it's a first--and major--step, after of course you've done the required writing work.

Literary agents get 100s (maybe more) of requests --known as "query letters"-- every month from aspiring authors pimping their writings. With a novel a writer must finish the book (or, um, in the case of my earlier novel, finish it repeatedly, and then again and then start again) before seeking a literary agent. With non-fiction, it's a slightly different route. With non-fiction the writer puts together a book proposal, which Chris has described as a "business plan for a book" and that's pretty accurate. A memoir is non-fiction so it falls in the latter category, except with some agents who still want a finished manuscript and a book proposal. I've been working on the actual memoir all year. I started working on the proposal in August (remember that North Carolina trip--yep, all book proposal) and finished it in mid-September, including sample chapters and an outline of the full memoir.

Then I spent several weeks researching agents. If you are ever in this position, let me highly recommend a site called QueryTracker.net. This site not only let me research the agents and find out all sorts of valuable information (who represents what kind of books, what other authors an agent represents, how to contact them, how long they usually take to respond, if they respond...) but also let me track the status of the various queries. That might not sound all that complicated, but it is--considering that a writer doesn't get to just send 2 or 3 queries and wham! there's the agent begging for the book. It takes many, many queries. 100s sometimes (there are 1000s of agents--some better than others of course). Then, with my list of 250 possible agents selected and ranked on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being a dream agent and 10 being a good agent that was a fit with this type of memoir), I turned to writing the query letter.

Again, harder than you think.  A query letter is one page that describes the book, sells it with a "hook," and also explains why you are the best if not the only person to write this particular book. Phew. This stuff is work, people.

Finally, on September 29th, I began the process of sending out the query letters (and sometimes the proposal itself, or sample pages, depending on each agent's preferences) to a select number of agents (not all 250--that would be crazy!!). I got a good response almost immediately! The "good response" was 11 agents asking to see the full proposal. Trust me, that's a good response. I sent the proposals as the requests came and then returned to writing the memoir (okay, well, first launched into a "what was I thinking? I can't do this! I can't write! panic which all writers are familiar with).

By November 16th (trust me, that's speedy!) I had offers of representation (yes, plural!!) and got to begin the happy task of "checking references"--which is a fancy way of saying I called and spoke with some of the authors represented by the agents who'd offered to represent me. As a lifelong reading geek, that was beyond thrilling. Then, last Wednesday I signed with a category 1 dream agent--Sarah Jane Freymann of the Sarah Jane Freymann Literary Agency. I'm thrilled. I've loved my conversations with her and her thoughts on shaping the memoir. This weekend I've written 11 new pages and am highly motivated to write more and more and more. (I'm sure this is a honeymoon stage; I'd like to enjoy it anyway.)

The plan at this point is that she will get back to me with her notes on the proposal and how to make it as marketable as possible. I'll spend December revising the proposal and after the first of the year she'll be taking it out to the editors looking for that magical book deal. Which means, there won't be news of a book deal until February or March--and that's if I'm really, really lucky (or really, really good ;-)  ).  In the meantime, I'm just going to bask in this little glow right now and keep my head down working on the  actual writing. Not a bad way to spend the holidays.

Seamus has of course demanded his own agent. He's not sure I'll fight for enough toast residuals in his contract so he'll need his own representation. We're in negotiations now.You can see the hardline position he's taken in the photo.

Oh, and the butterflies in the title? Well, I could cheat and tell you it was in reference to the butterflies in my stomach when the agents called, but I'm not really a butterfly kinda gal. No, it was a bald faced cheat--because the blog post with the most hits, consistently, in the history of the blog was the one titled Butterflies and Blogs, and, um...I wanted a lot of hits again as I brag about getting an agent. Believe me, when the book gets published the blog posts will all be "Butterflies, Unicorns and Free Sex."

A Dog's Life

I've been busy writing...just not the blog (a week? Seriously? And I thought I'd be doing so much better). I am completely absorbed with writing The Dog Lived (and So Will I) memoir and it's pretty much all I'm thinking about. I believe I finally have the book proposal done. For those of you not familiar with the world of non-fiction book wanna-be publishing, let me explain.

When one writes fiction, as I had been doing (spectacularly unsuccessfully, but joyfully...usually) the book needs to be finished, polished, finished again, rewritten, polished more, finished and then rewritten again (or is that just me?) before one even thinks about bothering the first 50 or 60 agents of the eventual 200+ agents one will need to bother before maybe, possibly, one agent responds and says "okay, I'm taking pity on you. Thanks for the letter, go ahead and send me 10 more pages." Then, assuming the agent likes that and eventually likes the other 250+ pages and agrees to represent you, that whole process is followed again while the agent tries to find a publisher for the book. These numbers aren't really even exaggerated.

With non-fiction, I have now learned (having paid not much attention to it previously) the process is different. So while I've been diligently working away on the actual writing of the actual memoir itself,  I have also been spending enormous amounts of time researching and writing the book proposal. Basically that's a 50 page document that a) describes the memoir and the story being told, b) describes why I'm not only the perfect person to write it but quite possibly the only person, c) reviews competitive/ complementary books already out there and why this one would be better...or at least different, and d) provides a chapter by chapter summary. Oh, and then attachs a sample chapter. Boat. Loads. O' work.  And I'm thoroughly enjoying it. To the point of distraction. (Day job? What? Clients need their documents? Really? Now? Huh, what did you say honey? I missed that...I was writing.)

My writers groups (yeah, I have two of them) have declared the proposal ready to go. I believe the proposal is ready to go. I believe the intro and first chapter (as well as a few other chapters) are ready to go. Something in the back of my brain is telling me that the second chapter is not right. It's a great chapter...but it may belong in another book. Ugh. So I'm going to have to deal with that.

I've also been researching agents who might possibly be interested in such a book. In essence I research for an agent looking for memoir, pets, cancer/ health, and humor...and there are a lot of them. Then I broadened it by eliminating "pets" (even though this is as much a dog memoir as a breast cancer memoir). I'm about 3/4 of the way through researching a list of....411 agents. Wow. Who knew? And won't it be embarrassing if all 411 aren't interested? And you know I'll share that embarrassment right here with all of you.  My biggest obstacle, but one I think I've overcome, is that I don't want anyone for one moment to groan "oh jeez, another downer  cancer book." Because it's so not that.

I've also been reading stacks of books. I read a lot of breast cancer memoirs when I was going through treatment (favorites were "Cancer Vixen"  and "Five Lessons I Didn't Learn from Breast Cancer (and One  Big One I Did)" . So now I've moved on to Dog Memoirs. Okay, I admit...I love dogs but I never used to read dog books. Because the dogs usually die!! I can't handle that. But in the interest of "my art" I'm reading them. And yes, I read (and sobbed over) Marley & Me. I'm moving on to Fixing Freddie (about a badly behaved beagle!). Oh, and I also finished, and really enjoyed, An Eagle Named Freedom (man saves eagle; eagle helps man through his cancer journey!)

I'm enjoying the process and learning a lot. And much to my surprise writing the memoir is helping me realize a few things and process even more of the cancer odyssey Seamus and I both went on. Oh, and it's also making me realize just how lucky that dog is. (And me too. ;-)  )

I'll keep you posted on the progress. And when I get a few pics, I'll tell you about the Women of Achievement Luncheon too. It's been a busy week!

Seamus-style

Busy weekends are obviously hard on Seamus. Way back when he had cancer and they told me he only had a year to live I did what any animal-loving recently-divorced probably over-compensating pet owner would do...I spoiled him rotten. So rotten that his mild separation anxiety turned into a full blown crazy case of separation anxiety. Hey, if mom leaves there's no food, no cuddles, no fun--that's worth howling about.

Consequently, if we leave the house, our neighbors insist we not leave Seamus behind (and oddly, he's the first one to alert them if indeed we've jumped ship--he howls, rattles the fence, barks, howls, pleads, screams, and then howls some more. Until eventually...call it 15 minutes in...the neighbors begin to leave messages on our answering machine). So on Thursday night Chris had plans with "the boys" and I had plans with my "BC" girls--drinks with two friends at just about the stage of breast cancer treatment I was last year, only they both had mastectomies and are in the reconstructive stages (and also, way braver than me!). Seamus went to spend a few hours with his besties Will and Nellie (half great-dane, part boxer, all love). Which he loves, but it also exhausts him. Then the next day Chris and I both had to go into the office during the day, then I went to a funeral/celebration of life and Chris represented at the Mary S. Roberts Pet Adoption Center Comedy Night in the evening. That meant Seamus had to go to Ruff House (pet resort) overnight. And since we also were going behind the orange curtain (Newport Beach)  on Saturday for my niece's 6th birthday party, Seamus had to spend Saturday there too.

My two nieces love their Uncle Chris--he carries them around, gives piggy back rides, let's them ride on his feet (one on each foot/leg) and plays games endlessly.

(That's Chris and Elisha...the birthday girl).
But at the end of the weekend...who do you think is more exhausted?

It usually takes Seamus a day or two (or, um, a meal) before he'll start speaking to us again.

Super Beagle

Seamus had his check-up and...huge sigh of relief...he's all good. Whatever lump was felt by his regular doctor was gone by the time the oncologist examined him. He's coming up on 4 years from finishing up chemo with no recurrence of the cancer. He is indeed Super Beagle, as his original diagnosis was one year to live even with the surgery and chemo. We're so proud of him beating all the odds.

The picture is Seamus with his oncologist, the good and great Dr. Autumn Duetelle. She's been so fabulous with Seamus all through his treatment we cannot say enough good things about her. And our visit with her this time was bittersweet. We learned she is leaving the Veterinary Cancer Group in Tustin and moving to (of all places!) Minneapolis! We are so, so sad to see her go. Seamus was her third patient after she became a fully licensed, certified, all those many years and requirements completed, veterinarian oncologist, and they have a special bond. Much like I was the good and great Dr. Karam's fifth patient (and oh yeah, who looks younger, Seamus's doctor or mine? See picture below).

 (That photo by the way, was taken just about a year ago..at my surgery check-up).

After we left Dr. Duetelle, I felt great that Seamus was all-clear and as healthy as could be. But I was also sad that Dr. Duetelle was leaving. And then suddenly I had this feeling of....hmmm....closure maybe? That Seamus's cancer battle and treatments really were all over. After all,  4 years with no recurrence is like 28 years for we humans. And with Dr. Duetelle gone...I don't know. It sort of feels like we're all done with veterinarian oncology.

My check-up with my oncologist is May 12th. Once again though, I think Seamus has led the way and my check-up will go just as well as his did. Because, yeah, life works like that.

Doctor, Doctor, Give Me the News

Fun day yesterday. I worked at home. Which means that while I'm hyper productive with a lawyer's favorite love (billable hours), I'm also able to accomplish major feats like five loads of laundry and 1,236 phone calls to a variety of doctors' offices.

That's right folks, it's time for my next 3 month check-up. Good news is April 30th is the 1 year  anniversary of my last chemo treatment. Hard to believe isn't it? It would be harder to believe if it weren't for the fact that my eyelashes still haven't recovered. They fall out about every 2 or 3 months. I'm guessing that since losing eyelashes is normal, my problem now is that all of my eyelashes (having all jumped ship together due to the chemo) are now on the same fall-out schedule--they no longer take turns. Well, wait.. 2 or 3 on each eyelid resolutely hang on. I know this because one day I will apply mascara and suddenly realize that I have a mini pitchfork on my eye. Go ahead, picture it. Two eyelashes. Not close together. Heavy with mascara.It's not attractive. But it is a very good sign that another group of eyelashes have headed to Florida for early retirement.

I digress.

Right, so the good news is that it's time for my check-up. The bad news is that I have to see 2 doctors at UCLA. One is Dr. Glaspy, my oncologist. But the other is mostly new to me--a new primary care physician. I saw her last time but as we were running so late from the mammogram scare, I only got my flu and tetanus shot. I didn't get the annual  "lady" exam. One of the few (okay, wait...only?) medical joys of chemo is that you get to skip the annual pap smear. Apparently the results will come up crazy no matter what so why bother. (This makes so much sense but was still surprising to hear.) So now I'm at 2 years and it's time (probably TMI, but I've already typed it so there it is). I've had lots of luck scheduling 2 and even 3 doctors appointments in one day at UCLA but my luck has run out. I couldn't get both appointments on one day for anything. Not surprisingly, the oncologists office wasn't at all moved by my "but I'm a cancer patient" wail. I will be heading into UCLA on April 29th and then again on May 12th--on my way back up to Paso Robles!! (Gosh I hope the check-up goes well.)

That was complicated enough...but not to be outdone, Seamus needs an appointment with his oncologist too. Chris took Seamus to the vet this week because we'd noticed that he was eating a lot, but then also seeming to be off and on sick to his stomach and throwing up a bit. Turns out he had some parasite thingy going on (the vet said "sort of like if you drank the water in Mexico." Oh. Ugh.). Seamus is now on medication for that and obviously already feeling much better. But during the exam the doctor felt a "mass" on Seamus's rear end. The other side from where his cancer was. And the vet wants us to go back to the oncologist to get it aspirated. And well, Seamus was due for his annual oncology check-up anyway. Off we shall go.

Seamus's appointment was not easy to schedule either. His doctor is about a 45 minute drive if we aren't in traffic. Which means we have a narrow window of an appointment somewhere after 10 and before 3. Before 2 if possible. I really want to take him myself so my work schedule had to be considered and darn it his doctor (Dr. Duetelle, who we love) doesn't work on Fridays. So Seamus goes in on April 20th (when he's done with the tummy meds).

That's a lot of doctor appointments coming up. All I can say is...it had better all be good news.

Slow Learner

Remember how I wasn't sure if I had had a "breast cancer survivor's epiphany" or not after I finished surgery, chemo and radiation? And then remember how I thought maybe I had because I learned a little about prioritizing my time (click here if you need a refresher)? When I went through the breast cancer odyssey I pretty much reduced my life to work and taking care of my health. And wow, I had all this time on my hands and the whole big world, my little town, my little world and pretty much everything else went on just fine without me. Huh. Post-treatment I ramped back up (dork!) and then suddenly hit a wall with way, way too much stuff going on and that's when I had the little epiphany about time management and prioritizing what was important to me. I scheduled things so I had time to exercise, read, write, and still work quite a bit (I am still building a business). Cue the maniacal laughter.

Old habits die hard. And it seems I did it again.

Today, Chris and Brein Clements (genius chef and proprietor of Restaurant Omakase) are down in San Diego at a Family Winemakers tasting event. I was supposed to go but couldn't. Because I, (once I finish blogging and am sufficiently amped on coffee) will be heading into my office to try to get a jump start on the week. Because my schedule has and will in the immediate future look like this:

Wednesday the 10th: film public service announcement for the Riverside Public Library Foundation (I'm on the board)

 Friday the 12th : in Burbank all day at a conference for work (where I also volunteered to serve on a committee).

Saturday the 13th: 1st birthday party for my assistant's son, followed by several hours in the office

Monday: Shop to Stop Breast Cancer event; I'm the honorary chair and am supposed to say something to the room of 200 women and I bet they expect something inspirational or at least moderately coherent. (Must figure this out today).

Tuesday evening : Seminar for my clients about the 2010 estate tax laws and other fascinating bits. Again, I think they'll expect me to be coherent (must figure this out today).

Wednesday evening: meeting with city manager (on a client's behalf). Probably good if I'm coherent.

Thurs a.m.: breakfast seminar for clients (see Tuesday evening and general need for coherency)

Saturday: Walk With the Animals (fundraiser for the Riverside Humane Society)--I am the master of ceremonies and will need to be there for the day.

Sunday: memoir writing class at the Mission Inn (okay, this one actually should be on the list!!).

Tuesday the 23rd: Professionals and Community Leaders luncheon for the benefit of Alternatives to Domestic Violence (I'm the chairperson of the lunch and a member of the board of directors)

Have I lost my freakin' mind??  Yes, yes I have. When you consider that I have to prepare speeches (or at least something) for most of those events, get sponsors, sell tickets, and generally know what the hell is going on, it's just a stupid, stupid schedule. It's like I can't look at the calendar as a whole and say "no, I don't actually have time for that." Instead I look at the 2 hour time slot of an event and say "Well, yes, I'm free those two hours and therefore I can commit to 20 or 30 hours of work before that and there is no reason for me to see what the rest of that day, week, month looks like! Yes, of course I'll help! What? Be in charge? Why yes, yes I can!"

The good news is after fundraising for no less than 3 major events in one month, I have no friends left. They are all avoiding my calls and emails and have blocked me on Facebook. This is good news, because it makes me completely useless as a fundraiser in the future. This, combined with the fact that my board terms are all up (and shall not be renewed!!!) in June (2 of them) and December (the other 2) should give me my life back.  This is the plan (again).

Slow, slow, slow learner.

I really should take a page out of Seamus's book and just chill.

P.S. Don't get me wrong, I love these agencies and the work they do. (That's part of the problem!). I'm not loving my inability to find balance.

Seamus Really is Famous

Hey, we're the featured blog over at Dog Health Blog Awards! Check us out...I'm sure it won't last long!
Click here.

Seamus thanks you! And obviously he is super excited about this....

It's Over...sort of

 [No, no, I don't mean that Chris and I are over. That's just a cute New Year's Eve picture I'm sharing (and what a shocker, we're at Bistro O at Omakase!!).]

An interesting, and I think very good, thing has occurred. I think my mental state as a "Cancer Survivor" is over. I actually forget I had cancer...and I only finished treatment 6 months ago. I forget that when people say "How are you?" and they tilt their head and squint their eyes slightly, they don't mean "hey, how's it goin'" in passing. They mean "you've been through an awful lot and I really do hope you are okay but I'm a little afraid to ask." I forget that it was only a year ago I was headed into surgery and looking chemo straight in the eye. I still forget that I have short, dark hair (my reflection has startled me more than once). Heck, I'm even forgetting to blog. I forgot to blog when I had my 6 month check-up and found out I'm still Ned (No Evidence of Disease). I forgot to blog even when they scared me momentarily at my mammogram by telling me I had to come back in for three more "special" shots. That cannot be good---but all was okay. I even forgot to blog that we went for drinks with the good and great Dr. Karam afterward and he got carded! My surgeon got carded!! He took it with good humor (apparently it happens a lot) and I threatened a blog caption of "My surgeon got carded". But I forgot! I forget to blog and this was something I was obsessively doing daily not too long ago. More on that in a moment...

I had dinner the other night with two friends who've both recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and it felt odd to be the one on the other side of the "journey" (yep, still hate that word in this context).  I had to work to remember what it was like at the stage they're now in. It really seems like a long, long time ago. Of course, much of it comes back immediately in conversation and I am oddly proud to be a "Survivor." But at the same time, other than the fact that I can help others when they get diagnosed (or, well, I hope you found it helpful ladies!), or help raise funds for The Pink Ribbon Place breast cancer resource center and the part where I still go for check-ups every three months, well....I think I'm just back to normal. I don't really give a lot of thought or time or energy to the whole "breast cancer" thing. That should be a good thing, right? I never really did have that epiphany, so I don't feel compelled to walk 3 day walks to raise funds; I'm not part of an ongoing research study, and "my" breast cancer was triple-negative (not hormone receptive on many--well, 3--different levels) so I don't have any continuing treatment. So where does that leave this pretty pink blog?

Luckily, the name of the blog is The Dog Lived. And boy has he. So I'm thinking that's what this blog will become. Just a blog about living post cancer (breast for me, mast cell tumor for Seamus). And living well, I hope. We have climbed/walked/ hiked Mt. Rubidoux twice now (Photo is Chris and Seamus on the last walk; then me and Seamus on the Humane Society monument about 1/2 mile up) and will for a third time tomorrow if the rain lets up; I am writing the "everything I needed to know about cancer I learned from my dog" memoir (126 pages so far!) and I took a memoir writing class (see where I've been in the 10 days since my last post?);  and I am launched into my duties as honorary (but I hope also hard-working) chair of the 2010 Shop to Stop breast cancer event. I'll update on those things but also, I'm going to just feel free to blog about whatever's on my busy little mind whenever I want to...and it may or may not be about breast cancer. It also may or may not be funny, but we can all hope. I'm mostly funny in a tragedy (see chemo blog posts) and I'm sort of hoping that's held at bay for a bit.

I also think, however, I will be asking my two friends who've now started their own "breast cancer journeys" and joined the C club to guest blog from time to time. No, this won't be at all confusing!

January 28th  (ha! my original post said 27th but I checked my blog and it's the 28th--see, I'm forgetting everything!) will be the one year anniversary of my surgery. Thus, it will be my "one year" cancer-free mark. They start counting from the time there are no signs of cancer detected and for me that was post-surgery (the chemo was just a little extra insurance, as was the radiation). I think I'll post that day...and then I think I'll change the look of the blog. No more pink.

Your thoughts? Comments? Hopes? Dreams? Prayers? (Totally kidding on those last few; get your own blog for that stuff!).

Things I'm Happy About

Things I'm happy about this week:

1. I've gone on a walk with Seamus 4 times this week (and it's only Wednesday!).
2. One of those walks was with Chris, whom I always enjoy spending time with.
3. One of those walks was happily accidentally with my friend and former law partner Jane Carney. Despite the fact that we live two doors apart we rarely get (take?) the chance to chat, so it was nice catching up briefly.
4. On one of those walks, Seamus was an extremely well behaved beagle!
5. I had lunch with my dad. That's us in the photo, enjoying lunch at the Mission Inn to celebrate his birthday. [I thought my hair had come back in pretty much his same color...but nope, his is lighter. And longer!]
6. I'm really enjoying writing The Dog Lived (and so will I), the memoir version.
7. Reservations are rolling in for the Brunch for Breasts at Restaurant Omakase on October 11th.
8. I did a pretty good job of setting priorities this week. I even ate well. Mostly.
9. Many people have returned to reading the blog. I guess you all just needed some time off. 

It's only Wednesday, but hey, that's a lot to be happy about, so I thought I'd share. (I know what you're thinking....who got on Teresa's computer and blogged for her?? I know, I know. I'm thinking the same thing, but let's all just run with this now, shall we?)

Pink Sloth

Hmmm. So now that we know I lived (so far, anyway; obviously I need to build suspense) apparently my blog is no longer interesting. My readership has dropped precipitously in this last week. Is it possible to have a negative number of readers? Possibly, if some of you demanded the time back that you wasted on earlier posts?  Or maybe, if I'm not a daily habit, it just doesn't happen? Or, perhaps, just perhaps, you, like me, have returned to the regular programming of your life. Uninterrupted by cancer. That's a lovely thought, isn't it? Well, sure, yeah, it is...except for that whole part where you don't care about me anymore....(kidding! I can totally handle ...the rejection...totally. Really, I'm happy you have a life. No, really.)

In the last week, post-"I really need to prioritize and perhaps really did lose my mind in chemo" revelation--I have been trying to be a bit more judicious in my life choices. I'm new at this and clearly it's going to take a little time. But, as I work on the memoir (and I have!! It's 66 really crappy pages now...subject to many, many changes)  I find less energy for the blog. Makes sense, my mind is back in earlier times (how Seamus got his name; how Chris and I came to be; those sorts of memoir-ish things), and current times (the law practice!)  and hey, let's face it, regular life just isn't as funny as breast cancer treatment (stop the hate mail--I said "treatment"; breast cancer isn't funny--what one goes through in treatment for breast cancer is completely, totally, undeniably, absurd).

Today, however, I realized just how out of the breast cancer loop I had become...and in just a week! Today was breast cancer awareness day...in the beginning of Breast Cancer Awareness month. Today was the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure all over the country.  I had several friends participating in several of the races, and they were posting pictures on their FaceBook pages. I was sleeping in, having my second cup of coffee and reading "Kinky Gazpacho" by Lori Tharps (and it's good; I need memoir examples!) and friends and folks everywhere were out walking for the cure. Or, er, racing for the cure. I can't even fake it--I'm too lazy and pink-adverse for that. Give up a Sunday? Exercising? With crowds of sweaty people?? No!! Isn't it enough I had cancer and did the whole breast cancer "Survivor" thing? Must I get out of bed and walk too? No. No. I don't have too.

Then Chris turned on the television to watch football. And the players and refs had donned pink hats, and gloves and....and....shoes!! The big, burly NFL dudes were in pink shoes!! Based on Facebook and television (and really, is there any other form of life??), Chris and Seamus and I were the only beings not participating in some sort of breast cancer awareness thingy. I have to admit, it felt a little strange. Was I supposed to be doing something breast-cancer-y today? Can't I claim the "too soon" excuse? Or am I, as I suspect, just a giant pink sloth?

It's good to know  that some things never change. Once a cancer dork, always a cancer dork. Not only did I manage to not at all handle my breast cancer in the expected way, apparently I'm not doing the survivor thing right either!

I'm determined though. So next Sunday at the Brunch for Breasts....I'm doing penance. 3 brunches and 2 Cure Royales for me! Also, we took Seamus for a walk tonight. But he adamantly refused to don a pink collar.

Living Strong

Thanks for all the comments on the last blog post (and a few emails too). Seems I'm among the last to learn this whole "balance" thing. I have however started consciously working on it. Not too bad so far.

This was a a busy week at work and I've been on a bit of a writing roll--the whole memoir thing as taken on a life of it's own (up to 60 pages of that really crappy first draft so far!). But those are both good things. It feels great to be writing. Chris and I also had some enjoyable time with friends  (and their dogs) when we "had" to sample some wines for Forgotten Grapes.

So that's photo number 1 --Seamus and co-horts Harold and Bobby--in our kitchen begging for some of Chef Brein's food while their humans engaged in a little wine tasting on the patio. And yes, we know it sounds like our dogs are from some private school. And Seamus is the foreign exchange student.

I did also attend a couple of fundraisers this weekend (old habits die hard; and the tickets were already purchased). Friday night was the Riverside Humane Society's Comedy Night. Chris was my co-M.C. and he did great!! (I might be biased, but it's true anyway.) And the Riverside Fine Dining Group's Gala event kick-off for restaurant week was Sunday night. Here's the best picture I have from that event (Becky Whatley and Scott Petersen at the Omakase serving table; and how awesome is that moon??):

And then here's me...hot, sweaty, but having fun. And can you note the important thing in this photo?

Right! It's my yellow LiveStrong bracelet! That's the one that my new friend and fellow Cancer Conqueror Stephanie, she of the Bah! to Cancer blog, got for me in Dublin at the Lance Armstrong Global Cancer Summit. It traveled from Dublin to England (where Stephanie lives) all the way to California. I sent her a Survivor shirt in exchange and if you click here (on this! right here!!) you can see her blog where she's posted a pic of her in the Survivor t-shirt. Which I just find really cool. One of the  silver linings to the breast cancer odyssey is definitely the people you meet (even online in this case). Odd, but true.

Oh, okay, so in the photo you might also notice cleavage. My plan was to distract people from my ridiculously short hair.  Not bad for a breast cancer chick though, huh?

Chase Away K9 Cancer

Today was Seamus's check-up day. He's now a 3 year survivor of canine cancer (mast cell tumor on his tushy--that's medical speak). Chris and I both took Seamus into Tustin to visit the fine folks at the Veterinary Cancer Group, and most particularly his wonderful oncologist Dr. Dutelle. To Seamus this is the "place with the dog cookies" because every desk, exam room, waiting area and level surface has a jar of dog treats, and not a single person is able to resist Seamus's most diabolically cute demands for said cookies. After all Seamus went through in this place (surgery, months of chemo, a weekend in doggie ICU, and many, many, many follow up check-ups that always involve poking him where he sits--and generally he tries to sit to avoid the poke), it's a tribute to the staff that he still loves going there. He will happily charge into the facility without pause. No paws planted, joints locking screeching halt when he realizes where we are. That makes things a lot easier for us as well. So that's Chris of course (doesn't his hair look great?) holding Seamus. Seamus is studying the new artwork in the facility--it's a print by Stephen Huenck (love his stuff!) that says "Chase Away K9 Cancer." Yeah, we did that.

Seamus is doing great. No signs of cancer or anything else for that matter. So we all celebrated...at Huntington's Dog beach. Let's call this next photo "Two Survivors" and then of course, there's the guy who Chased Cancer Away for Seamus and me both (and Stephanie, here's my blue sky to match yours) :
You gotta love a day like this.

The Art of Cancer

You may recognize this photo--it's been on the sidebar of this blog throughout, because of course, everything I needed to know about cancer I learned from my dog. This dog. Seamus (pronounced, by the way, Shay-mus. Just back from our heartland America tour I have learned that a blog reader or 20 has been pronouncing his name Seem-us. Uh, no. It's Irish for James and pronounced Shay-mus. Shay-moose when he's eating a lot. Which is always.) My mother (a very talented art quilter in her own right) has a friend, Roberta Ranney, who reads the blog and cleverly deduced how important this little dog is to me. So she "quilted up" this for me and gave it to me at my Survivor Party Part Deux.
Isn't that spectacular? Yes, it's a quilt! (Not the big kind your grandma put on her bed. This is "textile art" and it gets hung on the wall!) It turned out so well--I can't believe how beautifully she captured Seamus's (slightly crazed) personality. I'm not the only one who was impressed. Thus she's now launched a line of custom pet quilts! You can order one of your pet and while there is absolutely no way your pet is as cute as Seamus, the textile art will be stunning. Her blog is RobertaRanney.blogspot.com (or just click on that!). She's posted a few other animal portrait quilts she's done, including one of my mom's Australian Shepherd, Barbee (yeah, don't ask about the name. It has something to do with "shrimp on...". Right, don't ask.)

And in other artist news, one of my favorite art websites The Artful Home is having a breast cancer fundraiser. Not the normal "buy something tacky and pink and we'll make a profit and give oh, a couple of cents, to some gigantic research conglomerate" kind of fundraiser. This is specifically for one artist who has had a recurrence of breast cancer and it's spread to her bones. She requires 16 rounds of chemo and because this was a "pre-existing condition" she has no insurance. A bunch of the other artists have donated their works and 100% of the sales proceeds today and tomorrow go to the "Hearts for Anna" fund to help pay for her treatment. Hey, I had insurance and I can't believe how much money I had to spend battling this disease. She's going to need a lot of help. So, check it out. There's some beautiful work. (Click here: "Hearts for Anna").

There will be more art updates soon. My mother shipped the quilt she made and is donating to the Shop to Stop Breast Cancer event. I should have it next week and will post photos of that too. Because of course, we'd love donations from other artists for this event as well. (That was subtle, right?)

Too Cool For School

It's Friday night.

My friends' Facebook status's are all about the fantastic food they are preparing for Sunday's Survivor party.

Chris is in the kitchen making BLT sandwiches.

My step-brother Michael flies in from Portland, OR tomorrow morning. My friend Lori arrives from Colorado later in the evening. Jane, Gary and Rich all arrive from the Bay area Sunday morning.

RSVPs to the party have topped 100 and friends are arriving from all over the place.

And this morning Seamus decided to dress himself (yes, he did this himself--by rolling around on top of a pile of laundry) in what shall hence forth be known as a "B*&#h Beater" tank top (Hey!! He's a dog!!! It makes total sense).

I'm a Survivor. And life is good.