Another Anniversary

Two Years.


Two Years ago today I finished treatment for triple-negative, Stage 1c, "highly-invasive", ductal carcinoma. I have a diploma to prove it. See:

Teresa with Radiology Oncologist Dr. Janet Hocko 7/14/2009

A whole different "cap and gown" experience, no?
Two years after getting through it all...two years of "survival".... here are my, admittedly random, thoughts:

1. I hardly think about it anymore. I forget that I ever had cancer. I can sometimes be surprised when I remember that I am, in fact, a breast cancer survivor. The other day I was alarmed when I saw one of my radiation tattoos...until I remembered how it got there. I also forget the impact the word "cancer" can have on other people. Thanks to Seamus's survival and my own, when I hear cancer I do not hear "death."

2.  I feel better. And I mean better than before I had cancer. I pay more attention to the important things (and by that I mean what's important to me--and I don't really care if that sounds selfish). I'm exercising more and eating a bit healthier, which is huge. Huge.


3. Not unrelated to #2, I weigh less than I did pre-cancer.

4. I hope I've been able to help other people (and other people's dogs!) get through their own cancer odysseys. I've enjoyed the online/ blog friendships and I've been happy to be able to talk or email with  friends, and friends of friends, and friends of friends of friends, when they were diagnosed and to refer them to the good and great Dr. Karam, to The Pink Ribbon Place or to some other appropriate place (second opinions!!). I'd like to think I've helped in some small way and will continue to be able to.

5. I might be slightly less cynical post-cancer (see #2 and #4 above). I might be able to say "Life is Good."

6. I'm also likely to say "I've worked out twice this week, why the hell aren't I a size 2?"

7. I'm a work in progress. But, at least I'm around for the progress.

Teresa and "Dr." Seamus--7/14/2011: Thriving

P.S. Yes, that's all my hair...if not my natural hair color. ;-)

Catching my Breath

Crazy schedule has not calmed down. But I did have a little time today to think about the fact that in a mere 3 months I will be in France. On another of our wonderful, relaxing, tasty, wine-drenched Words & Wine trips!!

And then that caused me to go...."holy crap, 3 months away?? We're in charge of this thing. We've got to get the itinerary to folks!!" So uh...this blog fell by the wayside. But you can check out part of the itinerary that's getting firmed up and looking good ("holy crap, I only have 3 months to do that myself!!") over at http://wordsandwinellc.blogspot.com 
And in the next few days, Chris should have all the info and the full itinerary on the Wordsandwine.com website. (We still have a few spots left for some wine-lovers to join the tour!). Hey, I wonder if this means life is sort of returning to a pre-cancer normal? Now there's a thought!

I'll be back blogging over here soon...I hope.

(P.S. photo is Chris and pre-cancer/chemo Teresa on the first Words & Wine trip...August 2006. Awwww...)

Dreams of Normalcy, Pearls of Wisdom

So maybe my return to normal is going to take a little while. This was the first morning I was able to sleep in a bit and not have to go to radiation before work. Naturally that meant I tossed and turned all night and was pretty much wide awake at 6:30 in the morning. Still, I managed to have two cups of coffee while getting lost and wasting a lot of time on the internet (lots of interesting and crazy blogs out there, don't you think?).

I finally got moving, got showered, did my hair (I kid, I kid), and used the pretty new make-up that I bought yesterday on my little "spoil me" shopping spree. It looked great--and the eyelash primer and mascara made my lashes long enough to actually be seen. Nice. Until about 2 minutes later. When my eyes started burning. And squirting water. And burning. Did I mention burning? I had to wash my face and splash water into my eyes. Then after I dried my face, my eyes kept jetting water (or acid, I'm still not sure) so I dabbed at my eyes with a tissue. Turns out one of my freshly manicured finger nails snagged and broke somewhere along the line. You know that delicate thin skin under your eyes? Yeah, turns out it's easily snagged by a broken fingernail. And also very sensitive! I'm sure I looked worse today than I have probably throughout radiation. Particularly since my right eye continue to drain and smear the rest of my re-applied make-up (not the new stuff). Nice. I'm no longer Cancer Dork. I'm just Dork. (Note to Stila make-up: turns out "genuine crushed pearls" in eye shadow, while very pretty, is a really, really bad idea.)

On a brighter note though, Chris had a dream last night. He started to tell me about the dream but once he got to the part where I was in the dream, I had a dire need to know something extremely important (or so it seemed). In the dream, did I have blonde hair or was I bald? Or lesbian chic? The whole question fascinated me (Chris was less fascinated). I don't remember any of my own dreams through this so I don't yet know what I look like in dreams.

Apparently, in Chris's dreams, I still have long blonde hair. I think that's good. He doesn't see me any differently now, not even sub-consciously. That's got to be good right? I'm not Cancer Girl in his dreams! I'm not even Radiation girl! I wonder if I'm still a dork?