Seamus-style

Busy weekends are obviously hard on Seamus. Way back when he had cancer and they told me he only had a year to live I did what any animal-loving recently-divorced probably over-compensating pet owner would do...I spoiled him rotten. So rotten that his mild separation anxiety turned into a full blown crazy case of separation anxiety. Hey, if mom leaves there's no food, no cuddles, no fun--that's worth howling about.

Consequently, if we leave the house, our neighbors insist we not leave Seamus behind (and oddly, he's the first one to alert them if indeed we've jumped ship--he howls, rattles the fence, barks, howls, pleads, screams, and then howls some more. Until eventually...call it 15 minutes in...the neighbors begin to leave messages on our answering machine). So on Thursday night Chris had plans with "the boys" and I had plans with my "BC" girls--drinks with two friends at just about the stage of breast cancer treatment I was last year, only they both had mastectomies and are in the reconstructive stages (and also, way braver than me!). Seamus went to spend a few hours with his besties Will and Nellie (half great-dane, part boxer, all love). Which he loves, but it also exhausts him. Then the next day Chris and I both had to go into the office during the day, then I went to a funeral/celebration of life and Chris represented at the Mary S. Roberts Pet Adoption Center Comedy Night in the evening. That meant Seamus had to go to Ruff House (pet resort) overnight. And since we also were going behind the orange curtain (Newport Beach)  on Saturday for my niece's 6th birthday party, Seamus had to spend Saturday there too.

My two nieces love their Uncle Chris--he carries them around, gives piggy back rides, let's them ride on his feet (one on each foot/leg) and plays games endlessly.

(That's Chris and Elisha...the birthday girl).
But at the end of the weekend...who do you think is more exhausted?

It usually takes Seamus a day or two (or, um, a meal) before he'll start speaking to us again.

Do and Don't

Here's a link to a great article on what to do and not do when talking to someone recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Useful info that I completely agree with.  I gave my own ideas (and examples!) back in this post, but I was perhaps a tad more bitter. Who, moi?

Happy Friday everyone.

Back in Blog

Two months? Seriously? I left you for nearly two months? I had no idea it had been that long since I blogged. I would have said 3, maybe 4 weeks. It's funny to think how crucial this blog had been to me just a year or so ago as I used it first to update friends and family and then to help me process the entire breast cancer odyssey. Now it seems like the odyssey was a lifetime ago. I think most of the side effects of chemo are gone--my hair looks reasonably normal (see new photo...which I'll explain in a moment), my feet are back to almost their pre-chemo size, I can no longer blame weight gain on chemo (as much as I'd like to) and most importantly, I don't very often think about "my" breast cancer or worry about recurrence. Apparently I even forgot about the blog.

So what have I been doing? Well, many exciting things. Our work carries on at The Pink Ribbon Place and in October we'll be doing a city-wide "Tuesdays for Ta-tas" event where each Tuesday night in the month of October different restaurants will donate twenty percent of the proceeds from diners who bring the flier with them. Thanks to Mi Tortilla, El Torito, Ciao Bella, and Phood on Main (all in Riverside) for participating. We've also got another Professionals Panel discussion coming up in November and the good and great Dr. Karam will once again make the trek from LA. I was also interviewed by Inland Empire magazine for their October "breast cancer awareness" issue and a photographer came to shoot pics of me and Seamus (not the photo you're looking at). I'll let you know if I make the article (I kind of think the writer might not have liked me much. Imagine! ;-).

I've also been hard at work on The Dog Lived memoir, which I'm really, really happy about. I spent 9 days in Ocean Isle Beach, NC with fellow writer and friend Lori Lacefield, doing nothing but writing, reading and relaxing (which of course means wine; maybe the occasional rum & coke). At this point, I've got a pretty solid (I think!) draft of the proposal done and about half the actual memoir.  [Blog readers who are also writers---what's the current thinking on memoir proposals? Is the manuscript supposed to be, like a novel, completed before the proposal is shopped to agents? Or, is it, like other non-fiction where the proposal is shopped before the manuscript is completed? Everything I found seems to be contradictory. So, at this point, I'm plodding ahead writing both. It was immensely helpful to get the chapter outlines and sample chapter written.]  The trip was such a writing success we've scheduled a sequel. Lori and I, together with another writing friend Jane (we all met at the Maui Writers Conference...which just cannot be a bad thing) will be heading to Paso Robles for week in November. I'm much enjoying being "writer girl" instead of "cancer girl" or even "lawyer girl."

But I am still "former cancer girl" and "lawyer girl"--and that's what the new photo is about. I was pleased (also, shocked) to be named a 2010 "Woman of Achievement" by the Riverside County YWCA. The luncheon honoring the six women selected will be September 16th at the Riverside Convention Center. It's an honor to be selected but it also requires things like being videotaped (which they then show on a giant screen in front of hundreds of people) and press releases...with photos. So I had to get a new "head shot" since none of my other professionally done head shots look like me (long blonde straight hair is but a memory now). My friend Mike Easley of Vital Excess Designs did this photo (and then appropriately photo-shopped a few years off me! ;-)  ). Oh, and yes, I lightened the color of my hair. My hair is healthy enough I can do that now.

In other big news--I put my hair in a ponytail for the first time in a year and a half. It was a puny ponytail and hair started slipping out after only an hour or so, but it was a ponytail. It was 108 out and I was just headed in to the office yesterday (a Saturday) for a few hours...so I thought I'd see if I could do a ponytail. I was giddy with childish enthusiasm over my childlike hairdo. I've moved from toddler hair to kindergarten hair.

I'll be back with another post soon.
No, really. I will.

(Leave a comment please--then I'll know you're still out there too!)

And by the way--here's the photo Mike liked. I think it's a bit too "dreamy/ serious" but it's an option.

I Have Survived

One year ago today--July 14, 2009--I finished (oh, wait...I "sucessfully completed") alllllllllllll treatments for breast cancer. WOO!!! HOOO!!!

And in celebration I had a bad hair day. You have no idea how good it feels to have a bad hair day again.

Also, there was this video clip, sent to me by a client:  "Bald Head Blues"

And then there was thai food and a nice dry Gewurztraminer shared with Chris (Okay, Seamus got a little chicken satay without the peanut sauce).

For now, all is right with the world.

Tomorrow, I have to remember to make my mammogram appointment. But tonight...it's all good. (Here's where you break into your choice of a) I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor, b) Eye of the Tiger by Survivor, or c) theme song to Survivor...depending on how much Gewurztraminer you've had).

Jet Lagging

We are indeed back from a fantastic trip to Geneva, Switzerland and various regions in southern France. Chris and I have, however, both had serious jet lag like we've never had before (so I guess that means I can't chock it up to another chemo side-effect; hmmm...age?), so I haven't had a chance to blog--oh, and we were staying in a gorgeous but wi-fi challenged bed & breakfast, so I had no opportunity to blog while on vacation. I hope you don't mind, but I kinda liked being mostly away from the computer for a couple of weeks.

At any rate, as you can see, the lavender was in bloom...as were the sunflowers and a few patches of the Provencal red poppies were also still hanging out. More pictures later. But it's nice to think that this time last year I was a cancer patient just finishing up my final two weeks of radiation and still bald...and now, look! C'est la vie, indeed.

So Much For That

It's such a good book, it works for the title of this blog post. So, yes, I finished So Much for That by Lionel Shriver--and I loved it. And I don't think you have to have had cancer or had someone close to you have cancer (although these days, doesn't that seem like everybody?) to love the book. If you like John Irving, you'll like this book (and if you don't...please don't ever tell me that or I simply cannot be your friend. Even virtually.) I'm not a book reviewer, so I'll cheat a little.

Here's the opening line of the book: "What do you pack for the rest of your life?" And really, that's what the book is about--what's really important and how we find that out for ourselves. But here's what the dust jacket copy says:

"Shep Knacker has long saved for "The Afterlife": an idyllic retreat to the Third World where hi nest egg can last forever. Traffic jams on the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway will be replaced with "talking, thinking, seeing, and being"--and enough sleep. When he sells his home repair business for a cool million dollars, his dream finally seems wihtin reach. Yet Glynis, his wife of twenty-six years, has concocted endless excuses why it's never the right time to go. Weary of working as a peon for the jerk who bought his company, Shep announces he's leaving for a Tanzanian island, with or without her.

Just returned from a doctor's appointment, Glynis has some news of her own: Shep can't go anywehre because she desperately needs his health insurance."

Right. she's been diagnosed with cancer. And there are three other medical subplots (ranging from a whip-smart child born with a genetic defect to a hilariously and then tragically botched plastic surgery) that "explores the human costs of American health care." It's just a brilliantly plotted and brilliantly written book. I saw way too much of myself in Shep Knacker at times, and then, yes, of course could relate to his wife (that whole cancer thing). This book made me wish I'd had more of an epiphany post-cancer.

And then there is Jane Green's "Promises to Keep." I probably liked this book more before I read So Much for That. Which is tragically unfair. Promises is, as you could guess from it's title, chick-lit. Unabashedly chick-lit. Nothing wrong with chick-lit, I'm just not much of a fan. Because I'm the kind of reader who can't (usually) get past an opening line like:

"Steffi elbows her hair out of her eyes before..." Yeah. That's where I stopped so I could figure out how one's elbow could touch one's hair. Steffi could have been double-jointed in some unusual way, but we don't know that yet (it's the opening line) so it's just odd phrasing. Yes, eventually I figured out that Steffi used her arm, with the middle section--the crook--on the other side of her elbow rubbing her forehead, to move her hair out of her way, but by then I'd also figured out I was not in the hands of a skilled writer. Skilled storyteller, perhaps, but writer, no. (In fairness to Ms. Green--I feel the same way about John Grisham and I'm sure they can both laugh their ways to the bank over my silly little opinion).

And then my other issue with Promises was how I came to read it. The publicist emailed me offering an advance reading copy. I was thrilled (I love to read; free books? oh yeah!). I'm assuming, because a character dies from breast cancer and how her family copes is the story, the publicist was reaching out to breast cancer bloggers.  But the character dies. Dies. And she dies from a recurrence of the cancer in her brain, first noticed because she gets blinding headaches and then blacks out while driving. So what do you think I'm going to be thinking about when I get a headache now? Well, probably just for awhile, because basically I'm too lazy to panic, but still...I don't think I was ready to read a book like this. Also, the focus is really on how the family copes and, in the end, how every goes on with their pretty, glamorous, chick-litty lives after Callie dies. My friends and family don't have pretty, glamorous, chick-litty lives right now, so I'm pretty sure they didn't go back to them after my cancer scare was over (and it is over). Just not a lot for me to relate to in the book. It even includes recipes--ostensibly because Callie's sister, Steffi--the double-jointed one, is a chef. But that just emphasized the lack of skillfulness in the writing (and editing). One of the recipes says "Melt the chocolate over a bain-marie (or my lazy way of VERY, VERY slowly melting in a microwave." I can only assume the "my" in that sentence is actually the author herself as it makes no sense coming from Steffi--and we don't actually have any context for the recipe. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Author intrusion is generally an amateur mistake.

Having said all that, I did finish the book. Much like I finish an entire bag of potato chips--because it was there and there was something a little compelling about it.  Of the two however, So Much for That is far and above my favorite. It's one I'll be forcing on people for years to come, I imagine.

Alrighty then, it's on to Europe!! We're in countdown mode. I'm ready to start packing! And no doubt the next post will be from France! If you want to follow along with lots of photos, find the group Words & Wine on Facebook. We'll be chronicling our journey there.

Au Revoir!

Momentous Occasions and Random Meet-ups

I graduated. Yep, my solo meeting with the oncologist went well and I've been moved to only needing to see the oncologist every 6 months. Of course, that's now off-schedule with the "every six-months" mammogram that I need, such that I will still be driving to UCLA every 3 months--next for a mammogram, then for the oncologist, then for a mammogram, and so on. I'm wondering if I can postpone the mammogram by 3 months to get on the same schedule? (I can almost hear you yelling at me). Okay, so probably not. More reasons to head into LA and perhaps the Beverly Hills Cheese shop.

Another little interesting fact about that oncology visit. While in the waiting room I met a woman who, as it turns out, had also driven in from Riverside and also was seeing Dr. Glaspy--only she's something like a 10 yr survivor. Then it turned out I knew her son--a stockbroker also here in Riverside--who was the one who drove her to her appointment. After a brief "so how are you" discussion we of course launched into just how sad it was that so many of us were having to drive so far to get good health care. Note that I won't even have my mammograms done here! I'm still going to drive to UCLA. Between us we knew 6 people who currently drive to UCLA from Riverside (60 miles each way) for cancer care. UC Riverside will have a medical school in the not-too-distant future; it's been a long time coming and can't get here fast enough. We sincerely hope that will help with our lack of medical care. I really wish there was something we could do in the meantime. Sigh.

And one more landmark event has occurred---my hair is now long enough to bother me!! I have to remind myself to be happy I have hair. But, it was 92+ degrees this weekend and my hair does sit on my neck and droop into my eyes and I desperately wanted to put it in a ponytail. It didn't really work. The ponytail was kind of pathetic. It's getting there, there's just no there there yet when it comes to my hair. Har. ;-)

We are now 10 days away from leaving for France, via a couple of days in Geneva, Switzerland. Really, really looking forward to this trip. Before I leave however (in fact, soon!) I will let you know about two "cancer" books I've read. I was given an Advance Reading Copy of Jane Green's "Promises to Keep" by her publicist (who is, clearly, scouring "breast cancer blogs" for likely readers). It a novel based on Jane's experience losing one of her best friends to breast cancer.  Right. I hadn't thought it through either, until I read the book. What the publicist is doing is actually a little cruel. I have to assume she hadn't thought it through either. More on that later. The other book is "So Much for That" by Lionel Shriver (who is actually a woman; she wrote "We Need to Talk About Kevin"). It's a cancer book, but mostly it's a screed about our health care system...well, our insurance system...and the toll major medical problems can take on a family. Having said that (because I'm sure I just made that sound like the most depressing novel ever), it's extremely well written and at times even funny. They are somewhat opposite books. We shall discuss.

Pink Carpet Premier

We had a fantastic time at the Pink Carpet Premier of Sex and The City 2!! Sold out event with a lot of women rockin' some fantastic outfits. And the shoes!! There were even some men there. 6 brave men showed their love for their women by showing up at this event--and 3 of them even stayed for the movie. Now the after party? 350+ women partying at Citrus City Grille, cosmos and "pink ribbon" martinis in hand---yeah, more guys showed up for that. Party went on until nearly 2a.m. Here are a few highlights of a glamorous, fun, heartfelt evening where over $16,000 was raised for the Pink Ribbon Place breast cancer resource center.

The top photo is Chris playing the role of Ryan Seacrest ("Who are you wearing? Which Sex & The City character are you most like?"). Above is Steve Holquin...the man, the myth, the legend...this event was his idea and without him, working together with Chris, there's no way this event could have happened let alone been the success it was.

 Four was the magic number. Ladies in groups of 4 stormed the pink carpet in their most fashionable ensembles. Work that step & repeat banner, ladies!

  Sheena Meder in her awesome party dress. I can't believe I missed photographing her shoes. She was wearing the shoes Samantha wore in the famous sushi scene in SATC 1!!

 And check out all those sponsors! (Note: Forgotten Grapes!!)

  IE Style magazine's sexy photog captured the glamorous gals and fancy footwear all evening long.

 Holly and Rory Gunnette. He was one of the brave men...and he stayed for the movie. He declines to state whether he enjoyed the movie (but he loved the event!)

  The Ladies of Best, Best & Kreiger. Rumor has it there were pre-party cosmos. Nice work, ladies!

 A full house!

 Stuffed Swag Bags on every seat!! Over 30 sponsors donated items (Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf $5 gift cards; Karen Allen Salon Aveda shampoos; UCLA hand sanitizers and band-aid purse kits; perfume samples; tableside purse holders; Organize.com items; martini glasses from Vantage Oncology; Bobby's coffee drink coupons; free appetizer at Salted Pig; Chic-fil-a, CPK, MI Tortilla food coupons, nail files and lip gloss from Avon, key chains, Lavish Day Spa gift certificates, Mary Kay products, IE Style magazine, etc....!!etc...!! etc....!!!)

 Over 25 volunteers worked tirelessly to get the theater set up, food tables out, drinks out, and 400 swag bags on all the seats (people, that's a lot of stairs!) in under 15 minutes! This U-Haul backed up to the theater back door and off we ran! Some of us...in very high heels.

And finally--showtime!! But not for us volunteers....we headed over to Citrus City Grille to set up for the after party.

 Which was also a huge success and lasted until after 2a.m. Phew. We were tired.

(And by the way...that's the violet BR08 dress I did not wear to the wedding in this blog post.)

 Let's do it again next year!! For now though...I need a nap!

It's All So Casual Now

Today I go into UCLA for my one year post-chemo check-up. My final chemo treatment was April 30, 2009. In many ways, it's hard to believe it's already a year in the past and in other ways it seems almost like it never happened. I seemed to have moved far away--emotionally/ mentally--from being "Cancer Girl."

Here are some ways in which I know I have moved on:

* I'm driving into UCLA today by myself. In the last year and a half of doctor's appointments, this will be the first one I've gone to without Chris. He's really busy these days with a lot of wonderful things and there is no reason he has to give up an afternoon to be my health escort anymore. Besides, the good and great Dr. Karam will be there.

* I like my hair now. (See photo; Okay, I was on my own...self photos are darned hard to do!).

* I had a phone conversation with a business associate the other day wherein he told me he had moved from "sympathetic" to "empathetic" with my "recent difficulties." I struggled to figure out what he meant and assumed he meant "divorce" (yeah, even though mine was over 6 years ago) and was trying to tell me his wife left him or some such. But no, he meant he'd been diagnosed with cancer recently. I had a moment of "I don't have cancer; what does he mean?" And had to actually remember that I did indeed have cancer last year!

* The first blogs I read on my blog list are no longer the cancer blogs. I still check them, because I feel oddly that I've gotten to know these virtual "friends" and I want to know how they are doing, but I no longer read for information or cancer camaraderie (I am occasionally reminded that I indeed had "cancer-lite" when I read what others have gone through and are still going through). I read the funny, single-chick blogs, the writing blogs, and the food and wine blogs first now.

* I forget to blog. There was a time when this blog was a daily sort of lifeline for me. Now, a week goes by and I realize I haven't blogged at all. Thanks for hanging in there those two of you who might still be reading the blog at all.

I haven't completely moved away from "the whole cancer thing." Chris and I both are still very much involved in The Pink Ribbon Place and in fact this Saturday is the sold-out Pink Carpet Premier event. 400 folks bought tickets at $50 a piece to an exclusive showing of Sex and the City 2 at a local theater. Guests will walk the Pink Carpet in front of a step and repeat banner of sponsor logos, while the local paparazzi snap photos and Chris plays the "what are you wearing" Ryan Seacrest role (I'll be playing Joan Rivers, I'm sure), then they'll head into the theater to enjoy a fruit and chocolate and other goodies food spread, a "swag bag" (absolutely stuffed with wonderful things from our many sponsors) and get a raffle ticket for "Samantha's Super Swag bag" (which has a designer purse, perfume, the use of an S type Jaguar for a weekend, dinner certificates, make-up, hair products, a fresh-water pearl bracelet, and allllllllll sorts of great stuff!). After the movie, there's an exclusive after-party at a local restaurant and bar. Another sponsor is putting on a tequila tasting and the bar will have SATC2 themed drinks (I'm guessing that means Cosmos!). But I have to say, this has been mostly Chris's thing. He and his friend Steve Holquin have done an amazing job of putting this whole thing together--that part of the reason Chris can't go with me to UCLA today. Too much work to do!

I'm no longer Cancer Girl and I'm happy to say I don't think about it much at all anymore. Breast cancer is now just a part of my history. I am glad to be involved in things like the Pink Ribbon Place and I'm looking forward to this event--just as me. Not as Cancer Girl. I think it's kind of a great way to celebrate my one-year post-chemo anniversary, don't you?

 (Is this one any better? I'm kinda smirking here--please don't take it personally--again, it's that self photo thing.)

Still in Love

So yeah, second date with Paso Robles was as good as the first date. I'm still in love and wanting to marry it (metaphorically speaking of course). We had a fabulous trip. For the inaugural Forgotten Grapes Paso Robles trip, we couldn't have asked for a better group of folks or a better bunch of winemakers/ vineyard owners, or better weather or anything better. Okay, well, I could have had better hair...but I'm trying to just be thankful that I have hair again.

I was so proud of Chris and truly amazed at the trip he put together for this group. Really, really outstanding. So allow me to share some highlights:

On the first night, Mike Barreto of Barreto wines (that's him standing next to Chris) came to our house (well, the one we rented in PR) and whipped up a fabulous batch of paella that perfectly paired with his Spanish varietal wines. Fabulous food, wine and company.

And that's our group, left to right: Wendy, Michael, Becky, Mike, Chris, Pam and Peter. Yep, you got it. We were Peter, Pam, Michael and Wendy...were were missing John and Tinkerbell. So Becky played the part of Tinker Beck all weekend. Chris was more Captain Hook. And there was an evening of Lost Boys...but I get ahead of myself.

On Friday we toured DuBost vineyard and winery with Kate DuBost. Lovely people, a fabulous lunch, an "insider's tour" and hey, more great wine!

Judy Starr, grape grower extraordinaire and proprietress of Starr Vineyards gave us a tour of her pristine vineyards in her white chariot (aka pick-up truck). Oh right, some of us (those in dresses) were in the truck and some of us (those in jeans or khakis) in the truck bed. Beautiful from every vantage point.

Next up: Barrel tasting with Augie Hug at Hug Cellars. So much fun. And again, the wine was incredible (I cannot tell a lie; I bought 3 cases of his 2007 Viognier. It's a favorite of mine and that was pretty much all he had left. Mine. All Mine!!!).

The day ended (well, um, actually it went well into the night) with Ted & Lisa Plemons at Cass Winery again. OMG--the food!! The wine!! The hilarious stories!!!

And did I mention there was a camera crew following Ted around? Right. And us. And um....let's just say we now know just how it is that those idiots on reality TV can forget there is a camera following them around.  It involves wine. And we are those idiots. (Incriminating video soon to follow, no doubt).

The chef at Cass Vineyards, Jacob, was amazing. The absolute best braised short ribs. So tender and tasty you could hear everyone at the table moaning in gastronomic ecstasy.

and  the evening turned into night, and there was wine, and there was laughter, and there was more wine, more laughter, more wine, music, more wine, dancing....and um...that's all I remember. Or at least it's all I'm willing to tell....until the next posting.

Cheers to you!