Spoiled Brat

Okay, so now I feel like a brat. And a spoiled one at that (actually, I sort of look a lot like that picture right now too--that's me in the reddish wig, swollen, bloated, flat shoes on my puffy sore feet, trusty dog at my side. Yep. That about covers it). But, I believe I have shaken my 48 hour rage so I am hopeful, as I'm sure you are, that the ranting has ceased. Although, I'm shocked how many of you thought my meltdown with the gardener was funny...perhaps picturing it was funnier than living it, but trust me, I was woman on the edge. I was probably dangling over it, actually. I'm wondering if the gardener will even come back or if I have another chemo casualty on my hands. First it's the hair, then the wine, then the gardener....

So how did I shake my rage? Well, with help from all of you of course. First, I appreciated all the comments and emails. I assume those of you who found my behavior completely deplorable were at least tactful enough to keep that thought to yourselves. And I think the pink clique long ago stopped reading this blog, so they don't even know how truly disappointing I was this week. The rest of you though seemed okay with my raging. Perhaps even amused. Then there were the phone calls--my dad, brother, younger sister and several friends were brave enough to risk life and limb to unwarranted verbal attack by attempting to speak with me. I haven't actually returned most of the calls though, because I've actually been busy (and sleepy) and I wasn't....well...feeling sociable.

And then there were the surprises. DWIGHT TATE truly risked life and limb by stopping by my office in person to check in on me today. Now that's bravery. Then CURT KNUDSEN also dropped by to check in on me and he came bearing gifts! (An excellent tactic to be sure). He brought me a beautiful giclee print by a friend of his that depicts three hands holding glasses of wine clinking together in a toast. It is very appropriately called "To Life!" How can I not smile at that? Then, in perhaps the bravest move of the past 48 hours, JANE and FRANCIS CARNEY had Chris and I (and Seamus!) over for dinner. The ultimate rage defeater was put into action--they pulled out all the stops by offering up food, a fabulous martini and a new book (which is not a cancer memoir--it's T.C. Boyle's new one "The Women"-- really hoping one of the women does not have breast cancer!!). They even responded to my odd craving of vegetables with a pesto tortellini, julienned veggies, a salad, asparagus risotto and then, because they care about Chris too, a steak! The bonus news is that all of the food tasted good to me, didn't cause queasiness, and the martini was just perfect! First one I've had since a few days after my surgery (3 months ago now). Yeah, yeah, so there may be hives. Maybe. But I'm thinking not. See that? That was positive thinking right there. Yeah, who's back, baby?

I also now have an appointment with the radiation oncologist. May 13th at 10:30 a.m.. Hey, at least it's not a Friday the 13th this time! That's my initial consultation which apparently takes an hour to an hour and a half. Wow. That's a lot of consulting. My right boob isn't even really that big. But I assume we'll have a plan at that point. I further assume it will not disrupt my Memorial Day weekend of debauchery plan (which really isn't a plan so much as a concept at this point). The only slight problem was that the office is no longer located where I thought it was (and where their website still says it is). They've moved further away. Still closer than anything else I found, but not quite the quick little trip with drive-thru Starbucks bonus I was planning on. Eh, it's only for 5 weeks.

I will warn you ahead of time so no one worries I jumped off the ledge I've been hanging out on--- there will be no post tomorrow (Thursday) night. Instead, you should all be reading ForgottenGrapes.com. All his postings are good, but I'm quite fond of this one (the grape and the pop culture icon). Chris and I will be in LA meeting with our LA Writers group for the first time in quite some time (we're slowly attempting a return to normalcy here), so I know there's no way I'll have the energy to blog when we get home. But I didn't jump. I'm coming around. Heck, I've got a fabulous weekend in La Jolla coming up in just about 10 days. I'm all kinds of happy.