Tuesday, April 26, 2011

On the Fly and About to Fly

Bula! (That is the Fijian greeting...which means, in essence "health" and how appropriate is that for this blog?)

We're in the countdown to Fiji time. Also, I'm in the countdown to getting more pages to the agent so she can get them to editors. Also, I have much work to finish up at my "real" job. Also, there's a spray tan with my name on it (well, a gift certificate. Never done it before; I'm sure it will be hilarious and I will look like Snooki...except tall and blonde-ish), a hair appointment (to get those now unnatural blonde highlights back), and a manicure and pedicure waiting. All in the next 48 hours. So, um, this will be fair warning of a blog hiatus.

I did get an iPad2 (which Chris has attached himself to), but we understand there is very little (to no) internet connection where we are staying. So I likely won't be able to post while I"m gone. But expect many, many photos and updates when I return.

Bula! Bula! And um, Aloha!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Rebuttal from the Ta-Tas Team

In the interest of presenting both sides of the debate, I'd like to share this blog post today from the Save the Ta-Ta's founder. I have one of her shirts. I like it.

Fact Checking the LA Times Opinion.

LA Times Joins the Fray

And the Boobie War has hit the LA Times.
I still disagree with much of what is said, but I'm happy to see the discussion continued in a civilized manner.
I just hate the "self exams don't do squat" statements.

Here's the article:  LA Times.

Monday, April 18, 2011

A Super Very Good Day

I guess the caption sort of takes away the mystery...my check-up with the oncologist went fine today. So, I have now moved past the 2 1/4 years "all clear" mark. Which means 3/4 of year until "the percentage of recurrences that we see drops precipitously" (or something like that...basically, with triple negative BC, like my old bad boy, recurrence generally occurs in the first three years, much less after that). I'm feeling good about that. Still need to get the blood test results back but all else was looking good. I can admit now that I thought I felt another thickening in the right breast, but it was in the same spot (and probably was the same spot) that the good and great Dr. Karam had done the ultrasound on before and it was and is only scar tissue from the radiation. Phew.

But wait...what do Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds have to do with my right breast? Well, nothing. But remember I told you my agent would be sending out THE PROPOSAL for The Dog Lived very soon? Well, today was the day! My baby is all "growed up" and out in the world! At this very moment she is in the clutches of several carefully selected editors at various publishing houses. I had a nice chat with my agent today just after I finished up my doctor's appointment and it seems that my baby is pretty and being generally coo-ed over. It helps that as it turns out three, three, of the editors who received the proposal are beagle-servants themselves! It's like Seamus has planted his minions out there to make sure this happens. Keep your fingers, toes and paws crossed for us.

That was my super, very good day.
Wait...wait...you saw "super very good day" and "The Proposal" and thought that Chris had.....oh, lord. You just don't know us at all.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Finding My People

No sooner did I find myself on the "wrong" side of the Boobie war, then I innocently go off to Fresh 'n Easy at lunch to load up on my "Eat Well" packaged (fresh! healthy! helping me lose weight!) foods and I find once again, I am not part of a group. I am an outsider again!

I've been to Fresh 'N Easy before, but apparently not at lunch when there is limited parking. There were of course handicap parking spaces available but that's not me. Then I saw two open spaces--hurrah!!--but, oh, wait... "Parking for Hybrid Vehicles Only."  My Jaguar is a lot of wonderful things, among them...Purebred. No hybrid. I drove on. Voila' two more open spots! I accelerated the non-hybrid to the open spots....but there was another sign: "Parking for Moms with Children Only." Seriously?? I've never seen that before! And that is decidedly not me. Not even if Seamus were in the car with me. I ended up parking far, far away. But that's okay, the calories burned are only helping me get into that Bagdley-Mischka swimsuit. I just felt so sad that I didn't fit in. I'm sort of thinking maybe I'm not Fresh 'N Easy's kind of people. I'm parked over in the "people we don't really give a crap about" section.

Apparently, these sorts of reserved parking spots are not new. I'm behind the wave (of outrage), judging by what I found when I Googled for an image of the signs I saw. But that's okay. 'Cause I found my people and my parking.



Note to Fresh 'N Easy: think about it, please?

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Coffee With a Canine

I'm interviewed (mostly about Seamus, duh. Winning!) over at Coffee with a Canine. I love this blog. Here's a part from the interview:

How were you and Seamus united?

I love the term "united." It's quite accurate. Seven years ago I went through a divorce and moved with my two old beagles to a townhome. Within five months of moving, both dogs had passed away. I was, needless to say, devastated. I went on a trip to Ireland with my brother and a cousin and when I came home the Mary S. Roberts Pet Adoption Center, where I'd been a board member and volunteer for over 15 years, called to let me know they had a beagle in need of a home. I thought that I probably shouldn't get a beagle again since I was single, working a lot and living in a townhome with not a big yard. But I went to see the dog. And we all know what happens next. Caution....meet wind. The beagle was adorable and unusually colored--really red. He also made me laugh a lot. I named him after a cousin in Ireland that was...yeah, you got it, red-haired and really funny (not so unusual in Ireland).

Go check out the whole thing and many other great dog & coffee stories at Coffee With a Canine.   And have a good morning.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Fiji on My Mind

I've been feeling obligated to continue the discussion of, at the risk of over-simplifying, what's appropriate in breast cancer fundraising (or, where the priority should be) while at the same time bursting with good news that I'd rather be sharing. And then, as it turns out, the breast cancer fundraising discussion has gone on anyway in the comments in the below post. So, here's what I've decided--I'll weigh in there later as well, and anyone interested in that discussion--and it is a very interesting and thought provoking discussion--should continue to read and comment in the post below. Right...below this completely, admittedly, frivolous and light post.


Because...for now anyway....I'm going to take a little diversion to share a little good news.

First, I heard from my agent last week that the book proposal is ready to go out on submission!! Woo Hoo!!! I don't have a timeline but I have great faith in my agent and am very, very excited to enter the next phase (for you non-writers...the next phase is where the agent takes the proposal to editors at publication houses and sells the book!).  I have lots of writing ahead of me and I'm looking forward to that too. And some of that writing will be done in....(see below)

Second, we are less than 4 weeks away from our trip to Fiji!! We met yesterday with the folks who own the home we will be staying in (friends of my dad and step-mom's) and over champagne brunch we learned the customs, what to expect, where to go, etc... I'm beyond excited about this! We'll be there for two weeks and there isn't a whole lot to do...other than lounge around on the beach or in the hammock on the balcony or perhaps go snorkeling or kayaking. I think I'll be able to write quite a bit while we're there. (So I'm looking at getting a iPad2 before we leave...anyone with knowledge of the iPad, please leave comments. I want to read, write, check emails from work and personally, and basically not have to bring my laptop.)

Third, I am very, very close to having lost 10 pounds since the start of my healthy eating/ work-out routine. I've lost about 9.2 pounds (depends on which scale and what time of day). And more importantly I feel much, much better. I'm working out with the trainer 2 days a week (20-30 minutes on the treadmill and 50 minutes of strength training) and doing yoga for an hour 1 day a week, plus walking Seamus for  1 1/2 miles on one other day of the week (don't worry about his exercise--- Chris takes him out for much, much longer walks much more regularly. Seamus is the most fit beast in our home.) I've continued to eat much better and in smaller portions. And, yeah, I've continued to struggle with not having my martinis or wine. So, um, they came back this week--wine dinner and, we'll...see champagne brunch up above (although I did do the salad bar and even selected the low-fat Greek yogurt dressing!).

Fourth, I went bathing suit shopping. And note, this is on my list of good things that have happened! I went to Nordstrom, having learned long ago that the more one pays for things the smaller the size of those things. But still....I haven't bought a bathing suit since cancer invaded the premises. And it was only about 4 years ago that I realized it was really inappropriate for me to wear a two piece suit (my stomach was the last to go, but when it went...it went with a vengeance! I used to think people would be too busy staring at my gigantic thighs to notice a little wedge flowing over the suit bottoms, but once the wedge dropped down and snuggled up against the thighs to  introduce itself, I realized reinforcements were necessary.) So this was bound to be traumatic. It did not start well. When I walked into the store I was in the dress section and they had an awful lot of cute spring/ summer dresses. And I, armed with a gift card, thought "well, a sundress isn't a bad idea." But you know what is a bad idea? The freakin' lighting in the dressing rooms!! It's like a green spotlight on each and every cellulite dent!! And nothing, but nothing was cute on this body. Nothing!!  I almost lost the courage to head to the bathing suit section. But, I figured, I was here. My timing is good--the new line of suits should be in, there won't be too many people also shopping, and well...it can't get worse.  I should look.

Long story somewhat less long, I was helped by this stunningly gorgeous, young, African-American girl who made me believe she too struggled with finding a suit to make her look 10 lbs slimmer (okay, I wanted 30 lbs slimmer, but no bathing suit can cover these thighs, so I was trying to be realistic) and she lead me to a Badgley-Mischka steel blue suit they'd just got in that morning. And....and....and....it fit!! And I loved it!! Okay, it will fit better five less pounds from now, but I have 4 weeks for that. It fit! It's stunning. It's glamorous and it's MINE!! I was so excited, I bought a second suit and a cover-up. 

Then, I went to the Shop to Stop Breast Cancer (okay, diversion ---benefits the Pink Ribbon Place, is frivolous, fun and exploits the hell out of the pink ribbon while raising funds for....things other than research; I also wore the Save 2nd Base shirt to the event. These are my sins.) At the Shop to Stop, I was able to snag a fantastic Tod's purse and super-cute scarf. Both of which happen to match the swimsuits I bought (not that I'd put the scarf with a swimsuit, but it was enough to get a theme going...).  Then, Saturday, right after Fijian-fest champagne brunch, I went to the Lake Arrowhead Coach outlet where there was...O.M.G. a HUGE sale. Now, I've been trying to break myself of the Coach habit because a) it's not cheap and b) I'm not a 16 year old Asian girl, which does seem to be the target market. BUT...but.... they had stuff at 50% off and then another 30% off and...and....damnit...I really like some of their styles. So, yeah. I now have blue Coach sunglasses, a little wrist-let purse and one heck of a giant spring/summer khaki and white patent-leather tote. All in the name of Fiji! Okay, and France this summer...

Did I mention I went to work today (Sunday) to pay for this? Yeah, because Chris and I also went to the Apple store to check out that iPad2.....


(the darker blue on the bottom right is the Badgley-Mischka...the photo doesn't do it justice, it's quite glam; note also the Tod's purse in the upper right...so, so excited about these...).

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Of Causes and Controversy


I was supposed to have Seamus draw the winners of the Save 2nd Base t-shirts last night. You can see from the photo that he was too wiped out for that. And since there were only five of you (for reasons I think I’ve figured out…and we’ll get to that), I think you all deserve a shirt. I’ll get two more. As long as one of you can wear a small! So Chrissy, Sara, Rina and Pinder92 (that’s Stacey, I think…, and mom---I have your address!) email me with your addresses and size and I’ll get you the shirt. That is, if you still want it after reading this post. And I hope you do (want it…and read the post.)

This has been a dramatic week in the breast cancer blogger realm. A controversy has exploded over, on a micro- level, the Feel Your Boobies organization, and, on a macro- level, what’s appropriate in raising funds for breast cancer—and where that money goes. I was thinking I’d stay out of the fray. And then I realized that like a big, lumbering, drunken bear, I’d actually already stumbled into the woods of this controversy and I’d stumbled in on the side of the pink bunnies (not the strong, dominant bears that I’d like to think I’d be teamed with!). If so many folks were upset about Feel Your Boobies and Save the Ta-Tas…oh good inanimate object of reverence…what must they think of Save 2nd Base!! While this controversy was raging, here's my little blog with a big ol' photo and shirt giveaway for Save 2nd Base. And holy beagle—I have a Save the Ta-Tas t-shirt…and a Feel Your Boobies t-shirt….and (*the shame*) I like them. Maybe I haven’t given enough thought to all of this. Is that possible? Even having gone through breast cancer myself?

When I was first diagnosed and during treatment I continually had this vague (and then less vague) feeling that I was doing things wrong. Somehow, I was not handling breast cancer like I was supposed to. I always seemed to feel, act and express myself “differently.” I didn’t cry, I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t a big fan of pink, I don’t ever want to walk in a race/walk/ anything that might make me sweat, and I didn’t want to go to support groups, I didn’t pray or go to church and I didn’t spend any time worrying, panicking or even thinking about what caused my cancer—I figure if scientists haven’t figure it out yet, I’m not likely to figure it out sitting at my desk in my p.j.s at two in the morning. I got treatment, kept working, blogged about all the indignities of treatment, finished treatment, had a party and well…that was it. Oh no, wait, I got involved in a local breast cancer resource center and am actively fundraising for them. So, yeah, I did it all wrong, apparently. But I got through it (so far…we’ll get to that too) and I did it the only way I knew how. Eventually that feeling that I did it wrong went away.

But now it’s back. And it’s back because of this controversy this week. I’ve been reading a lot of blogs and Facebook posts by people I really respect and once again…I find myself on the other side. I find myself not able to agree with the people who seem to be really smart, caring, concerned, involved (in the breast cancer “movement” for lack of a better term) individuals. And what’s worse, I’m feeling marginalized and as though the work I’ve tried to do with The Pink Ribbon Place and fundraising is somehow wrong. Or not important. Or misguided.  And none of that is right. So while my initial response was to stay out of the fray…I can’t. I feel the need to speak up on at least a couple of points.

If you want the background on the specific controversy and the differing viewpoints (differing from me, not from each other), I refer you to several well-written blogs: Uneasy Pink, Nancy’s Point, The CancerCulture Chronicles, and Dear Mom: Can you Get Letters in Heaven. Start with Uneasy Pink because that’s where the controversy started (not through her intentional doing). Well, actually the controversy started on the Feel Your Boobies Facebook page, but Uneasy has screen shots of that on her blog (since many of the comments on the FB page for FYB have been removed—part of the controversy).  But I want to discuss things more generally—not directed at this specific happening.  I’d like to address the following arguments that I’ve heard in various places that I disagree with and just explain why.
1.       The idea/thought/argument that organizations like Feel Your Boobies, Save the TaTas, and, while they haven’t been mentioned yet that I’m aware of, probably Save 2nd Base as well, are somehow trivializing or sexualizing breast cancer; that these organizations are “dumbing down” the issue.  I see these organizations as making a difficult subject more approachable. It’s easier to get someone’s attention with a catchy or yes even “pretty” or, yes, even "sexy" slogan than to incite fear in someone. The cancer is breast cancer--I don't know what word could be used in any campaign that wouldn't run the risk of being sexualized by immature and irresponsible folks out there. (Feel Your Breasts was not going to be a less polarizing slogan, but it is less catchy). The discussion about the importance of self exams, and mammograms and early detection is an important one. It needs to start somewhere, and it makes much more sense, to me, to start the discussion (note, I said start, not end) in a more manageable, approachable way. A way that makes a person smile and then think. I don’t think it’s helpful to start a discussion with the horrors of breast cancer. If we scare people we may scare them into denial—plenty of people already put off mammograms or neglect self-exams precisely because they don’t want to know. They don’t’ want to think about it. Denial can be strong.  So the start of the conversation, the beginning (which is where these organizations are functioning) maybe appropriately has a lighter touch. A key point here though is who these messages are intended for. It’s not me and it's not likely my fellow bloggers. It’s not breast cancer survivors or their family and friends who’ve watched a loved one suffer from breast cancer. I don’t need to be reminded to feel my boobies. In fact, I have a team of people regularly feeling my boobies at the UCLA Medical Center. The audience for these organizations, at the level at which they, by their own mission statements, function is women, particularly young women, who aren’t regularly getting mammograms and maybe aren’t regularly doing self exams and maybe don’t even think about it much precisely because breast cancer has not yet touched their lives. There is a larger discussion of breast cancer and the need for a cure, of course. But these agencies aren’t purporting to cover that ground. They are simply trying to spread the word that early detection is important. It’s not the be all to end all in breast cancer and they don’t claim it is. But it’s still important. So I don’t think we can dismiss their work. A person can choose to spend their money elsewhere, of course, but I don’t think these organizations need to be ridiculed or attacked or even characterized as not worthy of support for the work they are doing. Which leads me to the next line of argument that I disagree with---

2.       That self exams don’t improve survival rates or, phrased differently, that because early detection does not guarantee the disease will not metastasize or that you will survive the disease, it’s not worthy of so much emphasis.  Again, I disagree. Self-exams are extremely important and cannot be over-emphasized. I know this personally. I had a clean mammogram in late July, 2008, and then found a palpable lump myself in November, 2008. I was diagnosed with stage 1c triple-negative breast cancer on January 12, 2009.  If I had simply waited for my next mammogram, my disease would have been greatly advanced and my chances of survival would have been greatly decreased. That's just a simple fact. My cancer went from undetectable to nearly stage 2 in 4 months. Imagine what 8 more months would have done! I have worn the Feel Your Boobies t-shirt. It has opened a lot of discussions with friends and strangers alike. And when I tell my story I very often hear that the person I’m talking to hasn’t ever done self exams, has put off their mammogram or never had one, or thought they were doing pretty good just because they had their annual mammogram. And I’ve always encouraged folks by saying we are our own best defense. Know your breasts; do your self exams.  And the shirt with its approachable slogan worked to open that dialogue and, I think, probably encouraged a few people to pay more attention to their breast health. Now, let me be clear, I do completely understand that there is the very real chance that even though I found my cancer early and received treatment early, I may in fact one day have a recurrence and I may find the disease—despite my early detection and self exam—has metastasized. I get that. But I also get that I have a much, much better chance of that not being the case because I did catch it early. Every single doctor I’ve talked to—and I’ve talked to a lot—has emphasized the better odds from early detection. I’d like to improve my odds as much as possible—it’s why I did chemo (which reduced my odds from 30% to 15% chance of recurrence.) I want every single chance at survival available to me.  Early detection provided me with an improved, though not perfected, chance of survival. So again, early detection and using every means available to us is an important message. I don’t think that because an organization takes on that message they have a moral, legal or ethical duty to also take on funding research for a cure. Feel Your Boobies mission statement is clear. They don’t mislead anyone into thinking they are funding research. If you want to fund research, absolutely, your money should be spent elsewhere. Which leads me to the next point of disagreement--

3.      The argument that "we’ve" moved beyond the stage where awareness should be the goal, such that research and finding a cure is the only or at least more worthy goal and that only organizations that fund or conduct research should be supported.  This I bristle at for several reasons. First of course because I spend a lot of time and energy fundraising for an organization that has a cute “pink” name (um, and I named it) and does not give a dime to research efforts (nor do we pretend to). The Pink Ribbon Place funds mammograms for un- and under-insured men and women and provides support, counseling, education, wigs, scarves, you name it…to anyone in our two-county area who needs it. Are we saving lives? You bet we are. Are we helping people suffering from this disease? Yes! Is that a worthy cause? Yes! Absolutely. Just as increasing awareness and promoting self-exams isn't going to help a woman today battling metastasized breast cancer, funding research today isn’t going to do one whit of good to the woman who finds a lump in her breast today and has no insurance or doesn’t know about mammograms or can’t get to a doctor or doesn’t know where to turn.  The Pink Ribbon Place will, on the other hand, be able to do some good for both women. Neither the awareness campaigns or the research campaigns can stand alone. They are both important! The “we’ve moved beyond awareness as a goal” bothers me as well. Because there’s a lot of privilege in that statement. “We” (and I include myself in that) who have insurance, have education, have knowledge of breast cancer and mammograms and self-exams can easily make that statement—yes, we’re aware, stop bugging me, let’s focus on a cure. But this overlooks the folks from different cultures, different socio-economic segments and differing backgrounds who aren’t, in fact, even in this day and age, aware of the need for mammograms, the need for self-exam or the fact that there are 26 different kinds of breast cancer and that there have been major advances in treatment. There are still people who fear doctors, who never get exams, who find self-exams shameful. Many, many people are still frightened horribly by the thought of breast cancer and assume that it always means radical bi-lateral mastectomy, chemo and certain death. And that simply isn’t true. It’s never fun, it’s never easy, but it also isn’t certain death. It isn’t even certain mastectomy or chemotherapy. That message isn’t out there yet.  I personally don’t want to see people operating from a place of fear—and that’s the risk of what  the heavy emphasis on the “reality” of breast cancer” can do. I want to see people empowered to feel they can do something about this—or at least give it their best shot. And if they need to be eased into the message with light-hearted campaigns, so be it. I don’t think FYB or Save the Ta-Ta’s or Save 2nd Base are in any way trivializing or making light of breast cancer. They are making light of self-exams. Sort of saying—it’s not that big of a deal to do a self-exam, so remember to do it. I just don’t see the harm in this. There’s room for both goals—continued awareness and the fight for a cure. Folks should of course be informed of what an organization stands for and where the money is spent, and make their decisions accordingly. I have no issue with that. If you think research is the best use of your funds--by all means, donate to research! If you just like the t-shirts, have at it. And if you want to support an organization like The Pink Ribbon Place that provides both awareness and direct services, but no research...well, here's a link: The Pink Ribbon Place. ;-) I find it all worthwhile. I've bought the t-shirts, I've donated and fundraised for the Pink Ribbon Place, I've sent money to the American Cancer Society, I've participated in two research studies for the Army of Women, I participated in a research study the night before my lumpectomy. I've done that because....I think it's ALL important.

Okay, Wow. Well, I didn’t really realize how much I did have to say on this. ( And you poor folks who just wanted the t-shirt…so sorry!) So, I think I’ll do this in two parts. This is enough for now. But I think I still want to discuss the “pink-ness” of the breast cancer movement and I did pull up the Feel Your Boobies 2009 income tax return (they’re a non-profit so it’s public record; and I'm a lawyer, so these things are easy to get) and I’d like to share that—because I think it makes it clear the organization isn’t a sham or just funding the salary of the founder. So stay tuned for part 2…or, you know, just avoid this blog for awhile.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Second Base

See that? That's me and that's Seamus and that's a shirt you can have. Okay, wait, not that exact shirt...I'm keeping that one (also, you cannot have my wine...I get so few glasses of it these days). But the good folks at Save Second Base sent me some shirts to give away on the blog! Cool, huh? Yeah, Seamus and I thought so too (which is why he agreed to semi-pose for the picture--note the attitude he's copping though). It's especially cool since Save 2nd Base has donated over $30,000 to breast cancer organizations in the few years it's been in existence. You can read more about them and the work they are doing (and why) at the Save 2nd Base website.

I have a hot pink shirt (like the one I'm wearing) in size L and another in P (which I can only assume means petite...I've never in my life been such at thing and this could in fact be the first time I've touched an article of clothing in size P). And I have a green one (with hot pink writing) in size M. So who wants one? I realize you can't read the shirt, but I'm hoping you are not surprised to learn that the green writing says "Save 2nd Base." I'm giving all 3 shirts away in a drawing.

Once again, we're going to let Seamus decide. Enter the Seamus-shirt-arama contest by leaving a comment below--tell me whose breast cancer battle you are honoring (hey, it can be really easy...you can just say me!).  Seamus is looking forward to selecting more toast winners.

Other acceptable comments include...how's my hair looking? March 13th was the 2 year anniversary of shaving my head post-chemo. It's easy to remember because it was a Friday the 13th. That picture was taken on March 15th (a few days ago). But that's not quite 2 years of hair growth, because of course the hair doesn't start growing 'til the chemo stops. So that's about 1 year and 10 months or so of growth. I have to say...the color is bugging me. I may have to go back to blond. I see my stylist on Saturday.

Unacceptable comments are "how's the book proposal coming?" "Is the memoir done yet?" "Has the book sold yet?" or ... "Anybody can write a book!"  See where I'm going with this? Right. Crazy. The book proposal is back to my agent. I'm really, really, really hoping it's now "good to go" or at least only in the "minor edits needed" stage. Really. So much hoping that. I know you are too.

Comments between now and 5pm PST on March 30th are entered for a shirt!

Monday, March 14, 2011

Adopt an Adorable

That's not Seamus. That's Cosby...and he needs a home.

I'm participating in Petfinder.com's adopt the internet day--March 15th. Seamus is an adopted dog--shocking, I know, since we look so much alike. I have volunteered with our local pet adoption agency for over twenty years now. Finding homes for these wonderful animals is definitely a passion of mine. So, in honor of Seamus, and for Cosby and the many like him, today I remind you---

More than 320,000 pets are waiting for homes on Petfinder.com. Help Petfinder Adopt the Internet today and find forever homes for as many as possible!