The Countdown Begins

Today was a good day. I'm sure that's because it was mostly a non-cancer patient day.

Many of you emailed or posted comments about my blog post last night and my really, really bad day yesterday. I'm glad it made you all laugh. It made me laugh too. Hysterically. No, really hysterically. When I was writing it the absurdity of the whole day, this whole disease just sort of hit me and I laughed so hard I was in tears. You know that kind of laugh where your face is contorting and you can't stop it or pull it back into shape? Yeah, that kind. Right. Hysterical laughter. But it was pretty cathartic. I think I slept better last night than I've slept in the last two months. I woke up feeling pretty good and with more energy than I've had in awhile (Okay, so, dad, the mega-reds mega-greens and mega-vitamins may indeed be working; but I think the release through laughter helped too.) I went to work, wrapped in the beautiful periwinkle soft shawl/wrap that Chris's mom and dad gave me Sunday night (it's a very happy color) and I got a lot done. I think I'm in good shape for what's to come. I even got a couple phone calls from clients just checking in to see how I was doing (it's nice when a client cares about their lawyer!), and a couple of cards in the mail--and one with a California Pizza Kitchen gift card!! (Thanks Susan and Elisa!!).

I also got a Facebook message from a friend of a friend (who is now my friend too) that has been going through this whole breast cancer thing at just about the exact same timeline as me (her surgery was the day after mine and she was actually the first person I emailed post-surgery to say "eh, not so bad."). She read yesterday's post and emailed me with some great websites for wigs--and hey they look pretty good and the prices were low enough you just may see me as a redhead, a brunette and then a blond. Wigs for all my moods. Thanks Ursula!

Much to my surprise, I also got a call from Wilshire Oncology that Blue Cross has indeed approved my chemotherapy. So, I'm all set for chemo this Thursday at 10a.m. Tomorrow I go pick up my prescriptions and my wig (I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to name "her"--expect a poll on that too) and tomorrow night I start the anti-nausea medication. (I have a suspicion I won't be blogging tomorrow night...so you'll all have a chance to get caught up on your reading!) Chris will be doing the preparatory grocery shopping based on what we've surmised--because lord knows we had to figure it out ourselves. Between the materials UCLA had given us, the book the good and great Dr. Karam gave me, and our many prior conversations with doctors, it does seem that it comes down to this: there isn't really a chemo diet/nutrition plan. It's just about controlling the side effects. So really, until we know how I react, we won't know what diet restrictions I have or what foods/ liquids might help. I can drink coffee. I can have a glass of wine now and then. I have to avoid some obvious problem foods like sushi, mushrooms, rasberries (hard to wash), etc. Bascially, that's to avoid getting an infection of any kind since my immune system will be shot. Common sense will suffice.

People keep asking me if I'm afraid. I really don't feel afraid. A little anxious, but mostly, I'd just like to get to Friday night. There's a lot riding on Friday--the day after the treatment is usually the "worst" day and will give me an idea what I'm in for. I'd like to be at the point where I know that. I feel prepared and that's really all I can do.

Thanks again for all your thoughts and support. I'm bringing my laptop to chemo and will blog from there if I can. I'm wondering if they'll let me take pictures. If they do, you can count on it!

Today's picture is the last of the Boobie Bash photos. VALERIE ZUCKER worked so hard to get the photos to me (not to mention working so hard at the party itself), she deserved a featured photo. Plus, I want a happy photo. A Cosmo-induced pink happy photo. So I can stay in my happy place these next 48 hours.