Thursday, April 23, 2009

I May Have the Hang of This

This week (if all goes well tomorrow), I believe, will be the first week since the start of chemo, that I was able to put in 5 eight hour days of work with no naps, no doctor's appointments, no medical emergencies, no blood tests, no phone calls with nurses, no special foods, no metallic taste in my mouth, and no pharmacy visits. Plus, I wore the same (red) wig the entire week and thus did not need to explain "chemo" or "cancer" or pretty much anything to anyone. I just got to go about my normal days, feeling darn close to normal. Other than the feet thing, and of course the bald thing (but it's not like I'm the one looking at me all day or night), and the fact that I'm reading a breast cancer memoir, there isn't much that reminds me of my status as "breast cancer patient." I was so much not thinking about my patient status that I only just tonight remembered to make my blood test appointment at my favorite hidden Quest Diagnostics location. I'm all set for Tuesday. Okay, the fact that I can't drink wine which really pisses me off, does remind me of the chemo/cancer status, but that's only an issue when I come home from work and Chris has made some fine meal that really needs wine with it, or just, you know, when it's evening and I want a glass of wine. So anyway, I think I'm getting the hang of this chemo thing. Just in time for my last round. Now only 6 days away.

And in great anticipation of that milestone, Chris and I started planning our mini-vacation in San Diego/ La Jolla (now May 15th to 20th) and our huge/gigantic/ cannot wait for it/ lounging on the beach sipping umbrella drinks and ignoring Christmas Maui vacation. A friend and client was spectacularly kind enough to give us a week at their ocean-front condo December 20th to 27th, so that really got the planning going. We're considering a few days on the big island ahead of time--it's way cheaper to fly out on December 15th or earlier, as it turns out. So hey, we're up for a few extra days. As we're planning it I keep saying stupid things like "yeah, but I'm supposed to stay out of the sun" or "what if I don't have the energy to walk up to see the volcano?" And Chris has to remind me that come December, I'm no longer "cancer person."(Of course, that still leaves the second question entirely relevant.) So an odd dichotomy there--it's not on my mind all the time, but apparently my status as "cancer/chemo person" is now ingrained. I can't quite see the end yet. But it's true. It will be over then! I will even have hair at that point. Short, darker and probably curlier hair, but hair! Did I mention I can't wait for this trip?

So yes, I'm looking ahead. Planning some things. Focusing past last chemo and over radiation (not wanting to think about that yet. One thing at a time.) It's helping.

Oh, and Seamus is feeling better today too. And that of course, makes me feel much, much better.


  1. You spelled the word 'quit' 'quite'. So that probably won't be your epiphany.

  2. Anonymous-- you either a) woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning or b) are among those who would prefer I cry a lot. No black t-shirt for you!


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